Today’s Anthem: It’s my crippled ass anthem….
SEMI FINAL #2 FOR THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE YEAR:
- Driving Miss Daisy ((PATRICO ENDORSES))
- The Shank Skank ((FRED ENDORSES))
- Hannibal The Cannibal ((WOODY AND RIZ ENDORSE)) – THE WINNER!
- The Bushwacker ((MASTERS ENDORSES))
- Mary Had A Hairy Lamb
- TOO MUCH INFORMATION: The Wall Street Journal put out an article that says people are sharing way to much information because of the social age. Facebook, email, and Twitter are the main cause of people sharing just way to much information in the work place!
- BRANDON: Lives with his 50 year old single mother and she talks about her dates & sex toys
- MATT: Mother In Law talked about she put sugar in her….AREA
- LISA: They went out to dinner with a couple and they discussed a disgusting sex act
- JESSICA: Saw pictures of a woman giving birth
- Nutritionist all freak out because of these mega foods that are coming out. So ONE egg yolk has more cholesterol in it then ONE Double Down Sandwich
- How about this…a DONUT SUITCASE. It helps you keep your donut fresher one your way from the home to the office. Check this out by clicking HERE.
- Two fat chicks were busted from stealing from T.J. Maxx. They were caught with $2,600 worth of stuff they stole….JAMMED IN THEIR FAT ROLLS! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?
- A 924 pound couple in England had gastric bypass surgeries. They couldnt bone, or sleep together because they were mammoths. They are now down to combined 524 pounds and are boning all the time.
- Researchers in Florida said that for women – the best way to max out your earnings are to be 25lbs underweight. And if your dude….when your weight goes up…your salary goes up.
- A company in England started selling underwear for 5X broads. Now – they are getting requests to make pairs of panties that fit broads 630 pounds. The label reads……15XL! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!
- Wesley Snipes is turning himself in for tax evasion. Dude will be mega arrested. It’s been like 3 years in the making…What a retard.
- Dr. Oz is in trouble for using “sexy nurses” to dance around his set. Guess what – not all of them were hot and sexy but a lot of them where. Nurses want an apology.
- Randy and Evi Quaid are writing a book.
- Ozzy Osborne still loves to play hide the salami
E! ONLINE DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR:
- Jesse James
- Charlie Sheen
- John Mayer
- Kate Gosselin
- Mel Gibson
- David Arquette
- Scott Disick
- Taylor Momsen
- Jay Leno
- Kanye West
David Letterman: Johnny Depp, Ra Ra Riot, George Benson
Jay Leno: Helen Mirren, Aaron Eckhart, Keith Urban
Jimmy Kimmel: Dan Aykroyd, Brian Austin Green, Brad
Craig Ferguson: Carrie Fisher, Dennis Lehane
Jimmy Fallon: Michael C. Hall, Busy Phillips, R. Kelly
Carson Daly: Bobby Flay, “Heavy Metal Parking Lot”, Matt & Kim
Conan O’Brien: Rainn Wilson, skydiver Roberta Mancino, Christina Perri
Lopez Tonight: Bob Saget, Nene Leakes, Keri Hilson
Terrell Owens is 37
Larry Bird is 54
Prscilla Barnes is 55
Aaron Carter is 23
Johnny Bench is 63
Chasey Lain – 39 – Today’s birthday girl has been on Santa’s naughty list since 1993 when she stared in Hot Bodies Bondage…the first of 96 fine films including
- Interview With A Vibrator
- Lust Connection
- How The West Was Hung
- Clam Smackers
GUESS THE STATE:
A 39 year old dude all hopped up on pills and called cops telling them that he was car jacked. Well – he just couldn’t find his car. It was a bogus story and the cops figured it out. He was charged with filing a false police report. The state? FLORIDA
A gal walked into a pizza place and bought $30 bucks worth of pizza. They guy who rang her out accidentally charged her debit card $2,600 to her card. Well – the bank said it would take 10 days to come up with the cash so she should probably just go to the store. The manager offered her payments in…PIZZA. Really!?!?! When she refused the pizza shop owner threw her out of the store. What a nightmare! WOW! It’s some place in Connecticut. It’s called Amano’s Pizza.
- A man with cerebral palsy was told he was TOO disabled to fly by hisself!
- A 25 year old man had ankle surgery and then went back to work…that sucks
- A dude got sucked into a conveyor built and was decapitated!
- A teen didn’t wear his bike helmet so they made him deflate his tires and made him walk home
- A dude suffers from a condition where he goes blind when he climaxes! THAT MEGA SUCKS!
- A drunk dude was released from the hospital where he was immeadiatly crushed by a 7UP truck! HA!
- ALL OF THOSE STORIES….WELL…THAT SUCKS