Today’s Anthem: SAVING ABEL’S ANTHEM ((GET OFF THE GODDAMN BUS!))
- A 15 year old girl died at The Darkness during the Halloween season because of a condition she had and the fog, smoke, and smells made it difficult for her to breathe. Well – the father of the girl is trying to sue the haunted house. Here’s the thing: sad story. No doubt about it. However – come on. Is it the Haunted House’s fault??
- U.S Air had to divert a flight after a dog got loose on board and bit two people. Shocking – a woman had the dog who got loose. This bitch won’t even be facing any charges because of this…
- THIS is parenting! Earlier this week 4 kids stole a Salvation Army donation bucket. They were caught – and the parents said that all of the Christmas presents that were bought for them will now be donated to Salvation Army.
- Two dudes were caught stealing a planter and as they carried it away…they dropped it in the street and two cops saw them and one dude bounced. Cops said to either A. go to jail or B. put it back. Dude said…arrest me it’s way to damn heavy. HAHA! He was arrested.
- Greco Roman wrestling may seem a little gay….but…this story doesn’t help it’s straightness. 2 dudes were wrestling in practice where one teen pulled a “butt drag,” where you basically grab a butt cheek. What happens? 2 fingers were..ummm…inserted? OUCH! Now – there is some sort of a trial because the kid was expelled and the victim is saying he was raped. Unreal. Regardless – it’s pretty gay.
- 2 six year old and a 3 year old were caught stealing board games and snacks in Louisiana. Cops described the scene as adorable.
- The Blues scored 3 power play goals last night before putting in an empty netter to go on to beat the BlueJackets 4-1. It’s the second win in a row for the Blues and they look to make it 3 in a row against when the Hurricanes come to St Louis on Saturday.
- After being up big early – the Colts hold out and get the win over the Titans last night 30-28. It was a big game for the Colts as now with a Jacksonville loss – there would be a tie in the AFC South. Some other intetresting games to watch on Sunday…. The Rams will have their hands full with the Saints in New Orleans. Will Brett Farve’s streak of consecutive starts continue? We’ll see when the Vikings play the Giants. The Seahawks play the 49ers. Matt Cassel will most likely NOT play on Sunday when the Chiefs play San Diego. The Bears host the Patriots…….the Eagles play the Cowboys this week on Sunday night football…..and it’ll be Baltimore and the Texans on Monday Night.
- College basketball this weekend….Mizzou will take on Presbyterian in Columbia tomorrow while SLU has to play Duke on the road. The SLU game can be seen on CBS at 11AM.
- They say HEATH LEDGER was born to play the Joker. If that’s true, then so is this: RON JEREMY was born to play the Penguin. And that’s happening in a new X-rated version DC Comics’ “Justice League”. It’s called, “Justice League: A Hardcore Parody” . . . and it includes all the classic DC superheroes . . .-Like Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, the Flash and Green Lantern . . . Plus the villains Catwoman, Lex Luthor, Harley Quinn and Ron Jeremy’s Penguin. There’s no word when this future masterpiece will come out, but we have some pictures from the set. Ron Jeremy looks hilarious…check it!
- Ke$ha’s “Animal,”
- Lady Gaga’s “The Fame,”
- Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now,”
- Taylor Swift’s “Speak Now,”
- Drake’s “Thank Me Later,”
- Mumford & Sons’ “Sigh No More,”
- Black Eyed Peas’ “The E.N.D.,”
- Jack Johnson’s “To the Sea”
- Sade’s “Soldier of Love.”
- Katy Perry’s “California Gurls,”
- Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie,”
- B.o.B.’s “Airplanes,”
- Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,”
- Usher’s “OMG,”
- the Cruz-Ludacris debut “Break Your Heart,”
- Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok,”
- Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now”
- Eminem’s “Not Afraid.”
Jay Leno: Matthew Morrison, Crystal Bowersox
Jimmy Kimmel: Ben Affleck, David Sedaris, Nicki Minaj (R 11/29/10)
Craig Ferguson: Neil Patrick Harris, Nellie McKay
Jimmy Fallon: Kirsten Dunst, Dee Snider, Maroon 5
Carson Daly: Paul Bettany, Mick Foley, Delta Spirit
Actor Tommy Kirk is 69.
Actress Susan Dey is 58.
Actor Michael Clarke Duncan is 53.
Actor-director Kenneth Branagh is 50.
Actress Nia Peeples is 49.
TV chef Bobby Flay is 46.
Drummer Meg White of The White Stripes is 36.
Actress Raven-Symone is 25.
Christi Lake – 46 – this hooker has seen more penis than Santa has seen cookies in over 222 fine films including:
Sharon R Glover was hammered and needed to use the crapper in their motor home. She opened up the wrong door and went flying out the motor home and feel out and was dragged about 150 feet down the highway. Was mega alcohol involved? You bet! Alabama’s finest! GORGEOUS!
- Restaurant Toilet seats have less bacteria than high chairs - DEAD TO REAL
- Average Human has 8,000 miles of blood stream in their body – COMPLETELY RETARDED
- Back in old times – serving a guest a slice of cold meat was a sign for them to leave- DEAD TO REAL!
- A Turkish man got married and shot a gun in the air but lost control and killed his aunt and his father.
LISTENER FAIL STORIES:
- Jeremy accidentally text his wife the C word ((WINNER WINNER!))
- Kyle’s buddy did a burn out in his car and smashed into a school employee’s car!
- Devin’s friend sharted, then got in a fight and complete poo’ed in his pants
- Jeff’s wife left him for an inmate she met. But he was from Russia and got deported.
Churches are now using GPS technology to track where Baby Jesus’s are going when people steal them. So – this teenager stole the baby Jesus and was SHOCKED when cops showed up to his house. Well – guess what – too bad the GPS led authorities directly to where lil baby Jeebus was chillin.
So a couple of DOUCHEBAGS OF THE DAY today. First is the A-hole who legally…yes – LEGALLY had his name changed to Captain Awesome. What a ritard. You have to go throughout the rest of your life being known as Captain Awesome…actually…it’s kind of awesome. Woody and Rizz think it’s mega douchey…but I think it’s hilarious.