Today’s Anthem: Saving Gayble monotones through the Anthem
LISTEN TO DONNIE’S WEEK IN RAGE BY CLICKING HERE!
- Listen up sluts! Being a dirty rotten whore may be genetic. Yes – that is true. If you like wine coolers and jumped in that guys Pontiac sometime…well your daughter may love some Smirnoff Ice and jump into some dudes Acura. There is some gene called the DRD4. And there is a PART of that gene that causes sluttiness to run in the family. Researchers actually did a study on this. No joke!
- A UFO was shot down over a nuclear power plant yesterday. Wait…my bad…it was probably party balloon. Weird.
- There is a superbug called C-Diff. It attacks you intestines and gives you non stop diarrhea. Doctors have come up with a last minute idea. Poop transplants. This means someone else poo – goes in you. Hopefully a counter action and someone else’s poop can save your life.
- Women love it when dudes know how to fix stuff and can drive good. Bitches hate it when we refuse to ask for directions, road rage, or continuously change the channel. Dudes like when ladies talk to them on road trips, take forever to get in or out of parking spaces, take to long to go on a green light, talk to passengers instead of pay attention.
- WHO WAS DRIVING? - Rescue crews had to use ropes and ladders to get a driver out of a car after it had driven off the road and fallen into a tree! The driver will be getting a ticket – it was about 30 feet off the ground. Who was driving? IT’S ALWAYS A WOMAN…HOW HAVE YOU NOT CAUGHT ON?
- Six different players scored goals last night in the Blues victory over the Kings 6-4. They Blues are off today but take on the San Jose Sharks tomorrow at the Scott Trade. Face off is scheduled for 7pm
- Last night the Chargers pretty much did exactly what everyone thought they would to the 49ers as they destroyed them 34-7. Vincent Jackson looked amazing. Dude caught 3 TD passes as Phillip Rivers has now thrown over 4,000 yards for a third straight season.
- Other NFL Action this weekend:
- Jacksonville heads to Indy this weekend for a very important AFC south match up with the Colts. The Cowboys and Redskins meet up in Washington. A great division game between the Giants and the Eagles. New Orleans head to Baltimore to take of the Ravens and the Steelers welcome the Jets into Pittsburgh.
- The Sunday night game is Green Bay vs. The Patriots in New England and on Monday night it’s Chicago against the Vikings in some outdoor Minnesota Monday night football.
- The full Week 15 schedule can be found HERE.
- The No. 13 ranked Mizzou Tigers defeated Oral Roberts 81-62 last night and will play Central Arkansas tomorrow. SLU also in action tomorrow against Missouri State.
- Winona Rider has been telling people that Mel Gibson is a Jew hating, racist, mother effer. The antidefamtion league said that he had never heard the term that Mel used as a slur towards the Jewish Community.
- Gary Busey wants to donate his brain to science
- Donald Trump will be roasted on Comedy Central
- Last night was Larry King’s last show
- Donna D’Errico has a staph infection
- The Parents Television Council has a study that underage female characters are being showed in more sexual situations than an adult woman.
- Morgan Freeman is NOT dead
- Dave Grohl will be in the latest Muppet movie. It also stars Lady Gaga, Jack Black, and Ricky Gervais.
- Remember the dude in 40 Year Old Virgin who in real life stabbed the bejesus out of his gf? Life in prison.
- Mariah Carey is having twins. Woo Hoo!
- DMX is going to jail again – he violated his probation. He’s going back to prison.
LATE NIGHT TV:
Jay Leno: Owen Wilson, Elle Fanning, Lyle Lovett with Kat Edonson
Jimmy Kimmel: Larry King, Kate Bosworth, Greg Fitzsimmons (R 12/1/10)
Craig Ferguson: Billy Connolly, Maria Bamford
Jimmy Fallon: Jeff Bridges, Blyth Danner, Robert Plant
Carson Daly: Lena Dunham, Boi-1da, Fitz & the Tantrums
Actor Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters) is 65.
Hardball host Chris Matthews is 65.
Actor-comedian Eugene Levy is 64.
Actor Barry Livingston (My Three Sons) is 57.
Actor Bill Pullman is 57.
Director-producer Peter Farrelly (There’s Something About Mary,Dumb and Dumber) is 54.
Actor Sean Patrick Thomas (The District ) is 40.
Actor Giovanni Ribisi is 36.
Actress Milla Jovovich (Zoolander,The Fifth Element) is 35.
Actress Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter) is 31.
Actor Brad Pitt is 47
Actress Alysa Milano is 38
Singer Christina Aguillera is 30
Actress Katie Holmes is 32
Ex WWE DIVA Trish Stratus is 35
Rapper DMX is 40
Wrassler Stone Cole Steve Austin is 46
MMA FIGHTER Chuck Lidell is 41
Actor Robert McNaughton is 44
Nikki Hunter – 31 – this hooker for hire has handled more bags and packages in over 388 fine films including:
- Sharon Has A Negro Problem
- Tales From The Toilet
- 3 Holers
- AssLovers Delight
- Semen Demons
- Bend Over and Say Ahh!
- A Whole Is A Terrible Thing To Waste
In Kentucky – A 27 year old dude named Nicholas Fultz. He went into the ER when he was covered in burns. Nicks girlfriend admitted that she was driving him around when his mini-mobile meth lab exploded on him. And they also found a list of all his clients. Well – Nick caught wind and decided to try and climb through the ceiling to get away – but he fell through and crashed right outside of his room. He was arrested.
- Middle Eastern Suicide bomber killed only himself when he blew himself up in Sweden. No injuries reported.
- A postal worker delivered packages to a woman…naked. He was arrested.
- A state rep from Oklahoma bagged himself a white tailed deer he called the media to brag. He got a ticket for not having a hunting permit. FAIL!
- Funniest video ever. A real life camel fell onto a bunch of people in a church.
- Rudolph balloon fail!
- CNN went to cut to a story about something…and accidentally cut to the poo scene from Dumb and Dumber.
YOUR FRIDAY FAIL STORIES:
- Shawn - GF couldn’t wake him up so she called the cops and told them that he was going to commit suicide.
- David – Took a gal he liked to Target – she actually stole something
- Angela - Her brother was doing work on a deck – and a drill bit went into the tip of her penis ((WINNER!))
- Benji - Bought his GF a ferret…the dog found it first….and mauled it.
Some guys were renovating an apartment and throwing stuff out the window. It was a couple stories up. Well – they shouted down below – “Look out…were throwing something big down..” And when no one replied they tossed a FRIDGE out the window. Well – unfortunately a dude didn’t hear them and he was hanging out below them and met his instant death when he tried to brace the fall of the refrigerator. MEGA FAIL! HAPPY HAPPY FOR SURE!
THE HOLIDAY GUIDE TO TIPPING:
Babysitter: 1 nights pay and a small gift from the child
Garage Man: Couple extra bucks
Parking Attendant: Couple bucks? Or no…?
Snow Plow Guy: No tip
Custodian or Superintendent: If you’ve used it – yes!
Hair Dresser: $30-$100 & a Small gift (WHAT?!)
Personal Trainer: Cost of a session
Dog sitter/walker: Sure. Small gift
Mailman: Can’t except cash – give him a bottle of booze or something!
UPS/FedEx Guy: In an office – sure….Normal person? No way.
CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST BY CLICKING HERE!