NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
DONNIE’S WEEK IN RAGE VIDEO :
WHO FRIGGIN CARES: Paris Hilton and boyfriend Cy Waits are reportedly on the rocks….Sources say that Hilton’s fame is causing trouble within the relationship. An insider explained: “He finds it hard to be in the spotlight and deal with the attention and stress on the relationship that comes with it.” Anyone sad? I am….not.
ANTHONY WEINER RESIGNS AND IS MET WITH A HECKLER. TOO FUNNY! THIS THING TURNED INTO AN EFFIN ZOO!
Today’s Anthem: Scott Stapp
Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!
- Two broads from Alton posted something on Facebook, bragging about getting some money in a civil court case. Not smart. Some dudes saw the post and broke into their house at 1:30AM on Monday. They had masks and guns and demanded the money. So – they didn’t have the money yet…so the robbers just took some stuff in the house and bounced. Idiots! Alton cops are looking for the suspects.
- Who would win in a fight between and chainsaw and a baseball bat? You think the answer is obvious. Well – some dude went to another guys house and started banging on his door late one night. Apparently they had been banging the same broad and he was pissed…so they started fighting. He grabbed a CHAINSAW and started revving it up. That’s when the dude in the house grabbed a baseball bat and blasted him in the head….when the guy shook it off and came at him again…he jabbed him in the stomach and sent him running. So to answer the question: Baseball Bat: 1 Chainsaw: 0!
- Two kids had to call 911 and be freed from a bedroom closet on Tuesday after they were left home alone. An 8 year old girl, and a 6 year old boy, were left home alone by their mother who thought that the children were being watched. The 8 year old luckily had a cell phone and called police who came over and freed the kids. Cops also found a note on the counter left by the mother’s boyfriend who told them what to do if they got hungry. The boyfriend left after the kids father failed to show up to watch them for the second day in a row. Both mom and boyfriend were arrested and a warrant was put out for the kids dad. Both of the kids were placed in protective services.
- Cards got beat by the Nationals in extras last night. Nationals got the “W” 7-4. Tonight the Cards play the Royals at Busch @ 7:15pm.
- Dirk Nowitzki cannot sing. Check this out…he is trying to sing WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!
- Check out this video from the Vancouver riots….a dude takes a shot right in the coinpurse from a flash bang grenade!
- According to The Daily Dave Chapelle could be working on a new series. Now – don’t get too excited apparently it won’t be on TV it’ll only be available on things like Hulu, Netflix, or other subscription based sites….and thats IF it happens. Dave’s people say that none of this is true.
- Remember the Friday song? That tune done by that bitch Rebecca Black? Well – while it has just over 167 MILLION VIEWS…it was pulled of the net yesterday because of some feud going down between Rebecca’s people and the record company who recorded the song.
David Letterman: Johnny Depp, Ra Ra Riot (R 12/7/10)
Jay Leno: Josh Duhamel, Jill Scott
Jimmy Kimmel: Paris Hilton, “Bachelorette” Ashley Hebert, National Spelling Bee Champion Sukanya Roy, Sara Bareilles (R 6/7/11)
Craig Ferguson: Will Ferrell, Reese Waters (R 5/6/11)
Jimmy Fallon: A demonstration by Nintendo, John C. Reilly, Noah Wyle, Billy Currington
Carson Daly: Anthony Ameen, Sarah Vowell, Goldheart Assembly (R 5/4/11)
Venus Williams is 31
Drik Nowitzki is 33
Will Forte is 41
Brian “Head” Welch is 41
Mia Sara is 44
Greg Kinnear is 48
Paula Abdul is 49
Bobby Farrelly is 53
Mark Linn-Baker is 57
Joe Piscopo is 60
Phylicia Rashad is 63
Barry Manilow is 68
Newt Gingrich is 68
Paul McCartney is 69
Robert Ebert is 69
Erika Kole – 32 – today’s birthday girl has handled more bones than a paleontologist in 62 fine films including:
- Army of Ass Vol 8
- Chunky Housecall Nurses Vol 2
- Loose Sluts and Friendly Service
- Potty Mouth
- Six In One
- Teenie Boppers
- Sexy Sluts: Been There Done That
- The Revenge of Butt ‘er Face
A woman in North Carolina was caught shoplifting from a Walmart last week. Here is what security found on her when they busted her. A pregnancy test, two water guns, a can of cashews, a box of fruit snacks, a pack of water balloons, and a box of granola bars. Grand total of this heist? Right around $40 bucks! She was arrested and cops charged her with shoplifting under $50 dollars
GUESS THE STATE:
A husband and wife got into a fight after a party…nothing unusual there. The fight then carried over to the drive home…still pretty common. So they get home…and the wife and the kids get out of the car and go inside. Moments later, the wife heard a crash and sees their car in the living room. Well – in a fit of rage, the husband drove the car right through the front of their house. Police said the dude was all crunked up and was arrested for DUI. What state?! FLORIDA!
FRIDAY FAIL STORIES
- An a-hole in Britain wanted to get rid of a wart on his finger….so he did what he thought would be the best thing. He got drunk…and tried to remove it with a shotgun blast. He missed and blew off his finger and damaged his hand. WART REMOVAL FAIL!
- A woman ate what she thought was a fresh vegetable. One problem…it was poisonous HEMLOCK! She thought it was fresh carrots and celery and ate so much of it that it EFFING KILLED HER! HIPPIE FAIL!
- A dude tried to kill himself by jumping off a bridge….and he lived. When cops picked him up he refused and got the taser….still lived. After being transported to the hospital…he dove out of the moving ambulance….and LIVED….Suicide fail? We think so!
- A guy heard a noise at his house and decided to investigate….he went through the house and grabbed a shotgun. As he was looking around he tripped, fell, accidentally fired the gun…and killed the NEIGHBORS CAT as the bullet traveled through TWO WALLS AND INTO THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR!
- A teenager was STABBED at an anti-violence block party. No further info needs to be given that ish is hilarious! FAIL!