ANTHEM: Christina Gaguleria
1. Justin Kidding (The Mayor, Rizz, Woody, and Patrico all endorse)
2. Mike Brady
3. Dave No Glover
- Apparently – John’s Butcher Shoppe in town here….has been selling COW HEART as ground beef. They are using like 3/4 ground beef….and they are using 1/4 ground cow heart and soy filler. GROSS! Check out the full story as covered by the local Fox station.
- Cops in Ohio say that a dude was walking his dog when the dog pooed on his neighbors yard. The neighbor came out and asked him to pick it up to which he said he didn’t have a bag. So – she went inside and gave this dude a bag. He still refused to pick it up. When they started arguing…he picked it up – and then SMEARED IT ALL OVER HER DRIVEWAY. That’s when she threw the same crap at him. Cops were called and told both parties to take it easy.
- CREEPERS IN THE NEWS:
- An Amish Creeper? Yup! A 21 year old dude in Indiana is facing four felony counts of soliciting sex from a minor. This guy sent sent HUNDREDS of sext messages including naked pictures of himself and videos to a 12 year old girl. He was busted when he drove his horse and buggy to a restaurant where he went to meet her. In one text – he told the girl he was going to have sex with her in his buggy. Well the girls parents found the texts and called the cops to set up a sting. He admitted to everything – but thought the girls was 13 not 12….because that makes it ANY better.
- Last week – Cops in Ohio got a tip that this dude was having sex with his DOG! And it wasn’t the only time he also had sex with two other dogs and horse. During a search of this dudes place – they found a computer full of bestiality pics and a book called “A Dearest Pet.” He also had a sign that said “Pets Welcomed,” and advertised himself as a dog walker. Dude also had an inflatable sheep in his room. Shocking!
- Last weekend – at a Yoga Festival in Colorado….a dude hid in the BOTTOM OF A PORTA-POTTY. Yes…that sounds disgusting as all hell. He hid where everyone’s doodie and pee pee was sitting just so he could look at people doing their business. Dude realized he was busted and took off “COVERED IN FECES!”
- The Cards were up by one in to last nights 8th inning….and then the bullpen took over. The Phillies went on to score NINE in the inning and finished the game with a 10-2 win over the Cards. The two teams play again tonight. First pitch is at 7:15pm.
- The NFL owners met with NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell and the details on a possible CBA were discussed. So the old CBA had the owners taking a $1 BILLION dollar cut…and then giving players 60% of the revenue after that cut. The alleged proposed NEW CBA will give the players 48% of ALL REVENUE and the owners wouldn’t get the $1 BILLION dollars off the top. Again – nothing has been signed, proposed, agreed upon or anything..but it is some positive news from the NFL.
- Finally - Dallas Mavericks owner MARK CUBAN finally got his NBA Championship. Could he add a World Series trophy to his resume, too? The L.A. Dodgers are in such financial trouble right now, they’re about to be taken over by Major League Baseball. But Cuban says that under the right circumstances, he’d buy the team. He says, quote, “If it looks good, I am always open to any good business deal. If the deal is right and [the Dodgers] are fixable, then yeah, I am very interested.” According to Fox Sports, however, most baseball insiders think Cuban has very little chance of being approved as a team owner.
- Tracy Morgan held a press conference yesterday. Here is the video:
- Bam Margera was in Arizona when Ryan Dunn died. He said that randomly he started ripping the speakers out of a rental van and smashing the windows out at the EXACT time Ryan got in his accident. Did he? We get it…you’re sad…but you don’t need to fabricate stories about “psychedelic episodes.”
- Tons of people are stopping by the Ryan Dunn crash site and putting it on eBAY and selling the crap. Really? Wow! The dude that died with Ryan Dunn was his buddy. They were driving at around 130MPH! The coroner has listed blunt force trama, and burning alive as causes of death. Crazy!
LATE NIGHT TV:
–“Letterman” – Kevin James (“Zookeeper”) and pet fashion designer Ada Nieves. Music Guest: Beady Eye.
–“Conan” – Gabourey Sidibe (“The Big C”) and Rob Corddry (“Children’s Hospital”). Music Guest: Alison Krauss & Union Station.
–“The Tonight Show” – Louis C.K. (“Louie”) and news correspondent Richard Engel. Music Guest: Raphael Saadiq.
–“Jimmy Kimmel” – Molly Shannon (“Bad Teacher”). Music Guest: Matt Nathanson.
–“Craig Ferguson” – “Mike & Molly’s” Melissa McCarthy (“Bridesmaids”) and Paul Reiser. (REPEAT)
–“Jimmy Fallon” – Elijah Wood (“Wilfred”) and Michael Rapaport (“Beats Rhymes & Life”). Music Guests: Thurston Moore.
–“Carson Daly” – “Sucker Punch” director Zack Snyder and “Paul” co-stars Nick Frost and Simon Pegg. (REPEAT)
–“Lopez Tonight” – Marc Anthony (“Hawthorne”), chef Rocco DiSpirito (“Rocco’s Dinner Party”) and comedienne Michelle Buteau.
–Carson Daly – 38
–Dan Brown – 47
–Erin Brockovich-Ellis – 51
–Bruce Campbell – 53
–Cyndi Lauper – 58
–MERYL STREEP – 62
–DAVID L. LANDER – 64
–Kris Kristofferson – 75
–Donald Faison – 37
–Kurt Warner – 40
–Lindsay Wagner – 62
Jade Marcela – 31 – today’s birthday bitch has sniffed more pickles than the Vlasic Pelican in 206 fine films including:
- San Fernadano Jones and The Temple of Poon
- Trick Ass Asian Hoes
- Stop! My Ass Is On Fire 14
- ReEnter Johnny Wad
- In The Company of Whores
- Ally McFeel
- Hotbods and Tailpipe
- Only the A-Hole
- Golden Guzzlers
- Tinkle Time
- Public Pee
- Rock That Ass 14: Thunderballs
In Ohio – A dude named Terry Stanford barely missed being flattened by a train. When a train approached the dude jumped on the tracks and refused to move…then…he MOONED the train. When the conductor got out and tried to move Terry….Terry fought back. He was arrested and cops say it just adds to his already ridiculous history of over 36 arrests!
iPOD CHALLENGE: WHO’S iPOD IS THIS SONG IN?!
WHO’S iPOD?! RIZZ!
GUESS THE STATE!
A man walked into a Dollar Store and pointed a gun at the clerk. He then demanded that he couldn’t open the register unless a purchase was made. The robber – paid for a pack of gum – and the drawer open so the robber took everything and bounced. They are using the security footage to catch this a-hole.
BITCH BE TRIPPIN’: ((CHECK OUT THE 8AM PODCAST FOR CALLERS AND TEXTERS))
- A woman was arrested after booty calling her ex boyfriend and then planning a NINJA AMBUSH ON HIM! Crazy! BBT!
- This is just awful…This chick in Maryland found a one year old dog that got away from his owners. They posted signs and everything. She called and asked if there was a reward…they offered $50 bucks. She decided to extort them and told them she had the dog and wouldn’t give it back unless they gave her $200 bucks. Owners called the cops and they arrested this dumb bitch.
- Two women in California were arrested after begging for donations to pay for the funeral of a dead baby…a baby that doesn’t even exist. Two chicks were hawking money on the side of the road and causing traffic jam. When cops questioned them…they couldn’t get their facts straight and were arrested.
- A 17 year old bitch crashed and almost caused $100,000 in damages. She was speeding, texting, and attempting to pick up a cat in the car. She slammed into one car that was parked in a driveway, sending that car into a boat, which was pushed into a house and another neighbor’s car. The chick was treated in the hospital for minor injuries. Bitch be TRIPPIN!