THURSDAY SHOW BLOG (7/21/2011)

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NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO

401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO…THIS DUDE IS BANGING HIS OLE LADY…WHILE HE IS DRIVING HIS MINIVAN!  IT’S AWESOME!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT!



Today’s Anthem: PATRICO’S MEGA FAIL!

CHECK OUT THIS FIRST OF ALL FROM HELL’S KITCHEN….CAN YOU SPOT IT?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3torZnRa7Y

FIRST OF ALL: WORK THEIR MEAT!
HERE IS ALL THE FIRST OF ALL WORDS:

  • B- Beaver, Box, Beef, Bone, Buns, Ball, Bag, Bush
  • C- Clam, Cockpit, Chode, Cans, CaCa, Carpet, Chubby, Curtains, Come
  • D- Douche, Duty, Discharge, Dingleberry, Dripage, Drill
  • E- Entry
  • F- Fudge, Flaps, Floppy, Fairy, Finger
  • G- Garbage, Gobbler, Gonads, Gash
  • H- Hummer, Hiney, Hole, Hard, Handy, Hose, Handy, Helmet, Hog
  • J- Jugs, Junk, Joystick, Juicy, Jerk, Johnson, Jo
  • K- Knob, Knocker
  • L- Liquor, Loaf, Lips, Log, Load, Loin
  • M- Member, Moist, Meat, Munch, Muffin, Mud
  • N- Nugget, Nipple, Nads, Nut
  • P- Pianist, Pudding, Poker, Pickle, Plug, Pad, Package, Pie, Pubes, Pork, Pound, Period, Pole, Peter, Prick
  • R- Rim, Rack, Rubber, Rod
  • S- Shuttlecock, Stiff, Schlong, Swallow, Strip, Squirt, Sack, Swapper, Snake, Semi, Seed, Staff, Slit, Snatch, Satchel
  • T- Taco, Twit, Trunk, Tip, Tool, Tug, Tube
  • U- Unit, Uranis
  • V – Vain
  • W- Wad, Willy, Wang, Wank, Weiner, Wipe, Wood, Wong
  • Y – Yank


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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • Back in June, a dude in Chicago was visiting a friend’s apartment.  This friend had a leaky AC Unit in her window, and it dripped condensation all the time.  And if you’ve ever accidentally walked under on of those things, and be splashed…you know about the cold ass, dirty ass old water.  But you deal with it and move on.  Not this gal.  She told her brother someone poured water on her and he went to confront this dude.  Well – at one point – he pulled out his 9MM and shot him eight times.  He died.  Overreaction?!  YOU BET!
  • There is probably a better way to let someone know that your wedding was overpriced and disappointing but…what do you think?  A man got married last weekend at a place called Peckforton Castle in England.  He felt like the people overcharged him and didn’t deliver what they promised…so after the wedding and the reception..with around 70 people still sleeping in the castle…he set the mother effer on FIRE! He caused about $1.6 million dollars in damage.  He was arrested – no charges have officially been filed.  Overreaction?! OH YOU BET!
  • Here is one way to get your tenants to pay on time.  A landlord in Boynton Beach was standing in one of the apartments arguing with the tenant over rent.  This wasn’t the first time and it got heated quick…and it turned physical.  So – the landlord grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol and threw it at the guy and then lit him on fire.  Cops were called and the landlord was arrested.  Overreaction?!  WOODY AND RIZZ SAY NO! REALLY?! SETTING A MAN ON FIRE?!  RIIIIIIIIGHT.  I SAY YES.
  • Let’s just say your a straight dude.  Your openly gay roommate walks into the room, drunk, naked, and asks for some oral.  Do you A) Kindly Decline….B) Agree….C)Or bludgeon the roommate to death with an 18 pound statue of a platypus? Well – for a dude in Australia he went with option C.  He said he didn’t mean to kill him but he did admit to beat the ISH out of him.  He’s looking at 18-20 years in jail because of this.  OOFAH! WAS THIS AN OVERREACTION?! LISTENERS SAID: 61% of people agree..it was an OVERREACTION!
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PATRICO SPORTS THEMES:
7AM SPORTS: LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD
9AM SPORTS: AN AUSTRALIAN
  • The Cardinals lost in extras last night as the Met’s hit a walk off homer for the win.  The two teams wrap up their series in New York this afternoon.  First pitch is 11:10AM on Fox Sports Midwest..  
  • Although a deal is getting close, still nothing.  Last night the players didn’t vote on a full proposal – but rumor is they gave “conditional approval.”  Reports say that the two sides would be meeting through the night with the hopes for having a final agreement today.  We’ll keep you posted.
  • In a shocking move – Tiger Woods announced on his website that he’s getting rid of his Caddie, Steve Williams, who he was been with for THIRTEEN YEARS!  Tiger posted: “I think it’s time for a change.”  No word on who would be replacing Williams as Tigers new caddy.
  • And finally – Terrell Suggs, a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens – is apparently a pretty good screenwriter.  He wrote a movie, and the damn thing got produced and everything.  The movie is called “The Coalition, and its got some dude from that show House of Payne and Jackee.  There’s no word when it’s going to come out…but here is a trailer CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT.  And with all due respect Terrell….it looks AWWWWWWW-ful.

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  • A cop that used to work for Britney Spears has filed a lawsuit against her…Here is what he says: She has bad hygiene.  He says she farts and picks her nose.  He says she doesn’t shower for days and stinks.  Apparently she takes a lot of drugs. The security guard said that she got naked and would expose herself to him.  She also had many days where he thought she was crazy.  He’s just looking for $$$
  • The MTV Video Music Awards were announced last night.  CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST HERE.
  • Zack Braff (from Scrubs) had his website hacked and someone posted he was gay….He says he’s not gay. Click HERE to see it.
  • South Park has been renewed through it’s 17th season!  Swoot!
  • Dan Harris was interviewing Paris Hilton.  He asked her “Why do you talk like a baby…almost like a whisper?”  She claims its a character but then she was asked: “Do you ever feel like your moment has passed?” She got pissed…and burned out.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik4QFzQm46U

LATE NIGHT TV:
“Letterman”Harrison Ford (“Cowboys & Aliens”).  Music Guest:  Porcelain Black.
“Conan”Lisa Kudrow (“Web Therapy”), comedian Nate Bargatze, and “Commercial Kings” co-stars Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal.

“The Tonight Show”Emma Stone (“Crazy, Stupid, Love”) and Adam Carolla (“Family Guy”).  Music Guests:  Grace Potter, Charles Bradley and Sharon Jones.

“Jimmy Kimmel”Stephen Moyer (“True Blood”).  Music Guest:  Bush.

“Craig Ferguson”Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”).  Music Guest:  Amos Lee.

“Jimmy Fallon”Brooke Shields (Broadway’s “The Addams Family”), J.B. Smoove (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) and animal expert Jeff Musial.  Music Guest:  Ziggy Marley.

“Carson Daly”Neil Strauss (author of “Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead”) and Death.  Music Guest:  Freddie Gibbs.  (REPEAT)

“Lopez Tonight”Ashley Hebert (“The Bachelorette”).  Music Guest:  3 Doors Down.


CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
–Rory Culkin – 22
–Josh Hartnett – 33
–Damian “Junior Gong” Marley – 33
–Justin Bartha – 33
–Ali Landry – 38
–Emerson Hart – 42
–Brandi Chastain – 43

–Jon Lovitz – 54  
–Robin Williams – 60

–The Artist Formerly Known as Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam) – 63
–Kenneth Starr – 65

–Janet Reno – 73  


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Simony Diamond -28 – this birthday bitch has been used and abused more than a rental car in 244 fine films including:
- Your Mom Is An Anal Slut
- All You Can Eat Vol 2
- Holes And Whores
- Ass-stravaganza
- Outnumbered Vol 4
-  Salad Eating Sluts
- Gorgeous Nymphos Whores
- Crazed Coochies
- Legs Wide Open
- Ass Jam
- Do It Yourself Vol 2
- Mad Sex Party: Spaghetti Sex Fest and Melon Ballers

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TODAY’S HEADLINE HOOSHE IS A LOCAL HOOSHE COMING TO US FROM CLASSY GRANITE CITY where 26 year old Matthew Boone was arrested for aggravated battery.  See Matthew wanted to buy himself a brand new refrigerator…but he thought he was being charged too much for it.  So, what did he do?  Did he A) attempt to bargain with the man and try and get him to lower the price…OR….Did he B) grab a sword and hit the man over the head with it?  If you guess B..you are correct!  The victim had to get a couple stitched to close up his wound and Matthew was arrested and currently sits in jail on a $40,000 bond!MIKE ACTUALLY CALLED IN!  CHECK OUT THE 7AM PODCAST TO HEAR HIM CHECK IN WITH THE SHOW.

Check out the 8AM podcast for our SEXY TIME FUN FACTS – TRULY RANDOM SEXY TIME FUN FACTS TODAY:

WE ALSO TOOK SOME VASECTOMY STORIES AND WOW…NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.  CHECK IT OUT…ALL ON THE PODCAST!

+ 56% of men have had sex at work
+ More woman talk dirty than men during sex
+ Sex is a natural antihistamine
+ Impotence is grounds for divorce is 26 states
+ Only 17% of women are likely to have an orgasm during sex
+ A man will ejaculate 18 quarts of semen in his life
+ 52% of people say evening is the best time to have sex. (47% say Late Night, 33% say the morning; Afternoon says 21%)
+ Average person has sex 2.3 times a week
+ 63% of people say they wish they were having it more
+ Married couples say they have high sexual satisfaction than single people
+ The most common “exciting” place people have had relations …..is in a car!
+ Men say their favorite positions are missionary & doggie style.  Women say: Missionary & then being on top.
+ 19% have sexted and 19% have had cyber sex. 18% have ACTUALLY had sex with someone they met over the Internet.
+ L.A & Houston bone the most.  Philly and Dallas bone the least.
+ On Average men reach orgasm at 2.5 minutes….Women it usually takes 12.
+ The average erect penis size is 5 inches
+ Men with a good active sex life are more likely to live past 80
+ 30% of women over the age of 80 still have sex with their spouses or boyfriends.

THE SEX NUMBER & WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU:
According to new research the more partners and exes a woman has, the LOWER her chances are of getting married.  Women most likely to get married have an average of 10.5, while women with over 20 partners may have missed, “the one.”

  • 5-10: You’re not alone….most women aged 18-35 fall into this range.  You’ve been around the block and you’re starting to get a good idea of what you want in a man.
  • 10-20: So you were a bit more adventurous.  If you’re looking to eventually settle down, studies show that now’s the time to fine “The One”.  Quit dragging your feet and drop some hints.
  • 20+: Life’s been a party! Marriage is NOT in your future.

CONTESTANT #1 – POSTPONED!

CATEGORY: UNTIL!

QUESTION: TOMORROW!

ANSWER:  SORRY!

HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: STAY TUNED!

HERE IS THE PRESS YOUR LUCK FACEBOOK PAGE….CLICK HERE.

Check out this doucher.  17 year old Tyler Hadley put out an invitation to a party that he was planning on having later that night.  At some point – Tyler decided to KILL HIS PARENTS WITH A HAMMER! But, the show must go on right?  So – he went through this party and had about 40-60 people in the house…WHILE HIS DEAD PARENTS WERE IN THE ROOM RIGHT IN THE HOUSE!  So – he bragged about it and showed the bodies to his best friend….and the friend called the cops….at 4:30AM cops showed up to the house and found the bodies….why did he do it?  Because the parents said he couldn’t have the party!  Are you $#!%%ING me?! He’s been charged with two counts of second-degree murder and being today’s DBAG OF THE DAY!

One thought on “THURSDAY SHOW BLOG (7/21/2011)

  1. I have to say that yesterdays segment on the two girls who had the misfortune to be raised by white supremecists was pathetic. These girls were KIDS, 11 years old, for cryind out loud, back when they recited on TV all the sad dogma that they had been force fed all thier lives. KIDS!Babies! When you guys stoop to making fun of, –is there any other word for it?– abused children! on your show there really isn’t much lower that you can sink. How about a segment laughing at preteen anorexic girls, or 12 yearolds who have been raised to be suicide bombers? You guys are the ones who ought to be publically derided and laughed at, not these poor girls. You guys are the ones who ‘be trippin’.

    And the fact that they have, now that they are bit older, been able to find their way somewhat out of their sad brainwashed childhood, and begin to shed some of the crap they were raised on, makes you all the more pathetic for trying to use them to fuel your careers. Would you have done as well, if you had had thier homelife?

    Seriously? Is that really the best comedy material you can find? And you are getting paid to do this job?!

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