NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
Today’s Anthem: Yolanda brings it home!
TODAY IS THE DAY! I’M GETTING DRUNK ON THE SHOW! I’LL START DRINKING AT AROUND 7:30AM AND CONTINUALLY DRINK THROUGHOUT THE SHOW. THIS….SHOULD BE INTERESTING!
- A 59-year-old Kentucky man has been arrested for drunk driving and having sex – at the same time. Police spotted George Howard driving erratically while drinking from a can of beer. When officers flagged him down and walked up to the 2006 Ford they found a female passenger with her head in his lap. After being ordered out of the car his trousers fell down around his ankles. Police said the woman had been engaged in a sex act. His 53-year-old female companion was also ordered out of the car and attempted to stuff beer cans in her dress. A breathalyzer test recorded Howard’s blood alcohol level at .152. The state’s limit is .08. Howard was arrested and taken to jail in Louisville, Kentucky where he was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, reckless driving, and second-degree wanton endangerment. His female friend did not face any charges
- The Libyan rebels who took over Moammar Gadhafi’s compound found a funny/creepy discovery. It was a photo album filled with Condoleeza Rice. Gross. Gadhafi apparently had a crush on this broad for a long time. The two met in 2008 when Condi went to Libya…Condi got a diamond ring, a lute, and a locket with an engraved image of himself.
- If this woman had just shut up and taken her DUI in silence, she never would have made it on this show. But she HAD to talk it up. It was 2AM – this broad was driving drunk and got pulled over. When asked she said she had finished half a pitcher of beer and a shot called the LEG SPREADER. It’s Malibu, Midori, and pineapple juice. She failed all sobriety tests and was arrested.
- The Cardinals finally got a win yesterday – they beat the Pirates 8-4 with the help of a Matt Holliday homer. The two teams play again today – first pitch is scheduled for 7:15PM.
- Kind of cool yesterday – the Yankees became the first team in major league history to hit THREE grand slams in one game. Robinson Cano, Russel Martin, and Curtis Granderson all hit slams on the way to the 22-9 Yankees win.
- Not cool yesterday – Lenny Dysktra was charged yesterday with showing his DONG to six different women who answered a help wanted ad on Craigslist. When the chicks would show up – he would tell them that he needed them to give him and massage and he would get naked and show them his wong. Dykstra is a mess – he’s currently on the hook for credit card fraud, possession of cocaine, ecstasy and illegal steroids, and he was indicted for destroying almost $400,000 of property that was part of his bankruptcy case. He could face up to 90 years in prison.
- Check out this story…it’s super neat! Danica Patrick is leaving Indycar for NASCAR. Cool. Check out people making left turns this weekend as Rizz said in the office, “It’s effin Bristol man!” The race is tomorrow night at 7:30pm.
- DMX got arrested again last night. He was busted for driving 102 MPH in a 65 zone. Dude got arrested for the 10th time in Arizona.
- Chris Brown is apparently is a terrible neighbor. He leaves trash all over the place and worst of all….he parks in handicap spots.
Chris Pine is 31
Macaulay Culkin is 31
Shirley Manson is 45
Chris Burke is 46
Pee Wee Herman is 59
Alexa Vega is 23
Sarah Chalke is 35
Jimmy Pop is 369
Chandra Wilson is 42
Downtown Julie Brown is 48
Sergeant Slaughter is 63
LeAnn Rimes is 29+
Jack Black is 42
Jason Priestly is 42
Shania Twain is 46
Jennifer Coolidge is 50
Daniel Stern is 54
- For Your Thighs Only
- Altar of Lust
- Indecent Itch
- Whore Of The Worlds
- Backdoor Brides
- This Stud’s For You
- Forced Entry
- Sherlick Holmes
- Every Inch A Lady
- Asses To Asses…Lust to Lost
- John McCain claimed that the wild fires in Arizona were started by illegal immigrants. Well – it was caused by two campers who forgot their campfire was going on.
- A group of Buddhists rescued around 534 lobsters from being sold to Red Lobsters and other restaurants. Well here is something funnier…those same lobsters they were saving were caught the very next day and sent to Red Lobster.
- A guys brakes went out and he tried to stop his mother effin car like FRED FLINTSTONE. Check this ish out. Unreal!
- A guy fell asleep sunbathing….and had to be flown to the hospital with 2nd degree burns.
- A woman tried to wake up her boyfriend with some fireworks. She accidentally blew off three of her fingers.
- A dude broke into an apartment in the Upper East Side of NY and some people saw him and called the cops. Well when they showed up he tried to jump. And he ended up…DYING! OOFAH!