NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
Today’s Anthem: Bret Michaels…such a sexy voice…WOOOO!
FRIDAY I GOT DRUNK ON THE SHOW! I STARTED DRINKING AT AROUND 7:30AM AND CONTINUALLY DRANK THROUGHOUT THE SHOW. IT TOOK ME TWELVE BEERS TO BLOW A .086!
WEEK IN RAGE:
- Earlier last week – a Greyhound bus was traveling with passengers and frozen BULL SEED! The bus tipped over and bull jizz was all over the off ramp. GROSS! The lost load? Could be in the ballpark of $80,000! The smell was awful and the folks riding didn’t have any of their stuff damaged.
- Check out some of this hilarious coverage of Hurricane Irene….people are idiots!
SEA FOAM?! GROSS!
Drunk Bitch on TV during storm:
Wanna see the dude who showed his wong on LIVE tv? Check our Twitter by clicking here.
- The Cards beat the Pirates last night 7-4, but it didn’t matter, because the Brewers won too. The Cards are 10 1/2 games out in the Central…but they can make a dent in that lead starting tomorrow…..when they head to Milwaukee.
- The Rams are looking pretty good…..granted, it’s just the pre-season….but still. They beat the Chiefs on Friday night 14-10. Only one pre-season game left….and that’s on Thursday against the Jaguars in Jacksonville.
- Former NBA’er Javaris Crittenton….who you may remember from when he pulled a gun on Gilbert Arenas in the locker room a while back…..well now, Javaris is wanted by the FBI for the murder of a woman in Atlanta. Cops say he shot this woman in a drive by and he wasn’t even meaning to shoot her. He was looking to get some dude who robbed him and she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That sucks. As of last night he was still on the loose. Classy fella.
- The team from Huntington Beach California beat Japan yesterday to win the Little League World Series, 2 to 1. It’s the 6th title for the US in the past 7 years!
- A bicyclist in New York City who decided to fight a ticket he got for running a red light was ordered to pay $1,500 in fines. Since March of this year, this dude has been cited TWICE for running red lights and once for not having a bike bell. He says, “I thought if I show up in court I might have a say and show how unbelievably ludicrous this is…it’s absurd. When you look at the fines leveled and the actual offenses, it makes no sense.”
- Lady Gaga was on the MTV VMA’s last night as dude….shocking. What an idiot. Beyonce is pregnant. Want a highlight reel? Here ya go. Click HERE to check it out. Pretty swoot.
- CHECK OUT SOME STUPID ASS PEOPLE AND HOW THEY ARE DRESSED AT THE VMA’S. CHECK IT HERE.
- Sinead Baldy O’Conner is looking ROUGH lately…so…she claims she is sexually deprived and she went to her blog and begged for a dude to bang her. And by the way…she loves anal. —->>>
- DMX is suing the cops and is trying to say that he wasn’t going 125MPH…He was going 85MPH. Neat!
- KoRn’s new album will have a dubstep feel to it. Neat.
- A dude at a Godsmack show ripped out another guys tracheotomy tube. OOFAH!
- Check out these pictures of the Octomom’s stomach. Seriously – disgusting! Makes me want to vomit. Check it out below…
- Robin Leach is 70
- Lea Michele is 25
- John McCain is 75
- Richard Attenborough is 88
Mikayla Mendez – 31 – Today’s birthday bitch has been hammered harder than Mike Shannon in 186 fine films including:
- 10 Dirty Talking Masturbators
- Getting It Up With the Kardassians
- Ball Honey’s Vol 12
- Deeper Vol 6
- Creampie Surprise
- Bitches In Heat 2
- Culos Gigantes Volume 2
RING THE BELL!
- Men are more likely than women to call someone “The One” within seconds of meeting her
- Men decide whether a potential relationship is the real thing after one date…women usually take around 6 dates.
- The average man falls deeply in love three times while the average woman only does once
- Men are more likely to say I love you first
- Men most likely regret breaking up with chicks than the chicks do.
CHECK OUT MORE RING THE BELL MOMENTS DURING THE 8AM PODCAST!
WHATS UP GRANDMA?!
+ Contestant #1 had no guess
+ Contestant #2 guessed a HAIR BRUSH and was correct!
TUESDAY: A man from Louisiana has been arrested for exposing his penis in a Walmart parking lot. According to a police report, the man told police the store arouses him.Travis Keen was charged for obscenity before he was booked into jail yesterday. The 28-year-old was driving his Ford Taurus around the parking lot while exposing his penis to shoppers. A male witness told police Keen would stop and stare at any nearby females. When Keen attempted to justify himself to police, he said he had “his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart,” according to a police report. He added that he gets aroused when he visits the store.
WEDNESDAY: Titusville defense attorney Terry Lee Locy, 36, was arrested this week after investigators say he threatened to kill his girlfriend in a naked sword fight. He handed her a sword and said: “You’re gonna need this.” The report states police say that, after an argument about Locy’s drinking, the naked attorney handed his girlfriend a sword, grabbed a longer sword for himself and said “I’m going to kill you.”
THURSDAY: A self-professed protector of women was arrested for public intoxication last Monday afternoon. Iowa City Police Officers were dispatched to the mall for multiple complaints of a man harassing people. Police said they found 34-year-old Jerald T. Navarre shouting and smelling of alcohol. Police said Navarre showed signs of intoxication, admitted to drinking and told officers he was “a little drunk.” He refused pre- and post-arrest breath tests. The man allegedly told officers he is “needed” on the Pedestrian Mall to “protect women.” He goes by “Captain Save-A-Ho,” police said.
FRIDAY: A 59-year-old Kentucky man has been arrested for drunk driving and having sex – at the same time. Police spotted George Howard driving erratically while drinking from a can of beer. When officers flagged him down and walked up to the 2006 Ford they found a female passenger with her head in his lap. After being ordered out of the car his trousers fell down around his ankles. Police said the woman had been engaged in a sex act. His 53-year-old female companion was also ordered out of the car and attempted to stuff beer cans in her dress. A breathalyzer test recorded Howard’s blood alcohol level at .152. The state’s limit is .08. Howard was arrested and taken to jail in Louisville, Kentucky where he was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, reckless driving, and second-degree wanton endangerment. His female friend did not face any charges
WINNER: METH MOUTH MULTI-TASKER