NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
Today’s Anthem: Roseanne
- A Missouri man is accused of confronting a Taco Bell worker with a shotgun for forgetting hot sauce with his order. Lee’s Summit police said Jeremy Combs, 30, pulled into the drive-thru complaining about his order Saturday night, saying they forgot to give him his hot sauce. Police said surveillance video showed Combs pointing what appeared to be a a 12-gauge shotgun at the employee ran for cover. Police tracked the suspect to his home . They said Combs claimed he pointed a tire iron and not a gun at the worker. Police searched Combs’ home and said they found a shotgun underneath a mattress in his bedroom. Combs is a convicted felon and is not allowed to possess a firearm.
- Remember when Lindsay Lohan said she was going to buckle down and rock the hell out with her community service? Well – neato…she lied. She has been partying it up for Fashion Week and now is traveling to Milan for some modeling gig. She has done about 60 of the 480 hours of community service.
- Simon Cowell has been saying the The X Factor was going to be HUGE and WAY bigger than American Idol. Well – he was super wrong. It got beat by a LOT of other shows. It actually was a mega disappointment.
- Last week a Stephanie Gaga fan killed himself because he was being bullied at school because of his sexuality. So – Gaga is so pissed that she wants the President to make it a CRIME to bully someone.
- Remember the WWE wrestler that said Hugh Jackman broke his jaw? It was fake…WHAT WRESTLING IS FAKE?!
- George Lucas just put out the 9 Disc BluRay disc set of Satars War has already taken in $8.9 million bucks! Holy ISH! It’s the best selling and most pre-ordered BluRay in history!
- The CW Network is developing a show called “EXTREME MUSICAL CHAIRS.” Dead to real. WTF?!
- Katie Holmes will be on How I Met Your Mother as a character named: “Slutty pumpkin.”
Jason Alexander is 52
Stephanie McMahon is 35
Bruce Springsteen is 62
T.I is 31
Michael Douglas is 67
Catherine Zeta Jones is 42
Mickey Rooney is 91
Will Smith is 43
Chris Owen is 31
Scottie Pippen is 46
Michael Madsen is 54
Heather Locklear is 50
Mark Hamill is 60
Barbara Walters is 82
Bridgette Wilson is 38
Missy – 44 – today’s birthday whore has slipped more parts through the back door than a chop shop in 428 fine films including:
- NBA: Nothing But Ass
- Say Aloha To My Ahola
- American Tushy
- Anal Academy
- Anal Inquisition
- Anal Jeopardy
- Anal Anarchy
- Anal Professor
- Anal Nitrate
- Anal Talisman
- Complete And Total Anal Workout
- Malibu Ass Blasters
- Deep Dish Booty Pie
- Florence Rump
- Backdoor Bunnies
- Waterworld 5: The Enema Clinic
- Corn Hole Patrol
- It took a judge in Canada about 20 minutes before he said he had ENOUGH after they were watching a video of the defendant…having sex….with a Cabbage Patch kid. OOFAH! Not good. He was busted for having kiddie porn…and the video also had random images of kids. Creepy
- A dude in Connecticut who exposed himself to two different women department stores last year had a great excuse for the judge in his case…he claimed he was overwhelmed after taking Viagra. He just couldn’t control his horniness. Apparently, the judge bought it and said that if he successfully completes a treatment program..all charges will be dismissed…but he’s also banned this dude from taking Viagra.
- Cops in Arkansas are looking for a dude after an 83 year old woman called the cops after s dude sucked on her toe. Then – they got ANOTHER call with a complaint about the same guy. WTF?!
- The Cards had a chance to bring the NL Wild Card title within 1 yesterday…and going into the 9th up by four it looked pretty good. But it wasn’t pretty. The Cards gave up 6 runs in the top of the ninth and ended up losing the game 8-6. They now are 2 games back and welcome the Cubs in for a weekend series. First pitch tonight is scheduled for 7:15pm. In other Cards news – the team has signed Lance Berkman to another 1 year deal. It’s reportedly worth about $12 million.
- In the AL – the Rays gained a .5 game after they got the win over NY while the Angels lost in the 12th to Toronto. Boston was idle yesterday – but all three teams are in action today.
- The Rams play the Ravens at 3pm and former Mizzou QB Blaine Gabbert will get the start in Jacksonville for the Jags.
- More NHL preseason action….The Blues beat the Minnesota Wild 1-0.
- Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Jerome Simpson is in some SERIOUS trouble after he was busted with 8 ½ pounds of pot in house. Cops apparently intercepted a packaged that had a bout 2 ½ pounds in it and after searching the rest of his crib they found SIX MORE POUNDS! It sucks because offensive tackle Anthony Collins was also in his house…both players are being investigated but no arrests have been made……and Simpson wasnt the only dude busted for pot yesterday…NBAer Marcus Camby was arrested in Texas after he was pulled over and the cop smelled a little bit of pot. He decided to search the car and found less than two ounces. Marcus and his buddy were charged with possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone because the arrest happened near a high school.
- The NBA announced yesterday that all training camps and some exhibition games will be canceled due to the lockout. The original date for training camp to open was Oct 3rd with the first exhibition game to be on the 9th of OCT. The regular season is supposed to open on Nov 1st…but according to a source both sides say that probably isn’t going to happen.
BEAT A WOMAN GAMES OF THE WEEK:
OUR 3rd CONTESTANT WHO WILL ATTEMPT TO BEAT A WOMAN (RAVEY)….AT FOOTBALL PICKS IS PETER. IF HE WINS HE GETS A HOTSHOTS GIFT CARD AND A CHANCE TO WIN A SUPER SWEET GRAND PRIZE! IF YOU WANT TO GET IN THE ACTION…EMAIL US WHY YOU CAN BEAT A WOMAN ….IN FOOTBALL PICKS TO firstname.lastname@example.org.
GAMES OF THE WEEK:
Baltimore @ St. Louis – Both pick Baltimore
Atlanta @ Tampa Bay – Ravey picks ATL & Peter picks TB
NY Jets @ Oakland – Ravey picks OAK & Peter picks Jets
NY Giants @ Philadelphia – Both Pick Philly
MNF: Washington @ Dallas – Both pick Dallas
REST OF GAMES – BOTH PICKS THE SAME WINNERS:
Houston @ New Orleans
Jacksonville @ Carolina
New England @ Buffalo
Miami @ Cleveland
San Francisco @ Cinci
Denver @ Tennessee
Detroit @ Minnesota
Kansas City @ San Deigo
Arizona @ Seattle
Green Bay @ Chicago
Pittsburgh @ Indy
- In Millstadt, IL – a 39 year old guy and his girlfriend had been shooting into the woods near his house. They had gone through some rounds, so he went back to his truck to reload. That’s when the man fired hitting the man in the hand. Odd – he was teaching her how to safely shoot a handgun.
- A 14 year old wanted to show his dad his new skateboard trick. He was going to push his skateboard in front of an SUV and then run up to it and grab onto the SUV…but…he fell and wasn’t wearing a helmet. He is in the hospital with serious head injuries.
- A father and daughter tried to steal electric from high-voltage power lines and they were electrocuted and are in serious condition….Idiot!
- A dude strangled his girlfriend and tried to get rid of the body. He put it in a sleeping bag and covered it in gasoline and then lit it…which caused an explosion…and set the dude on fire and he eventually died!
- A man from Louisville was seriously injured when a homemade potato gun exploded and ripped off a piece of some dudes arm. GOO! FAIL!
- A man in Greece set himself on fire outside of a bank that he says ruined his business by offering him shady loans. He was taken to the hospital with non life-threatening injuries and chest burns. This would be his third attempt at killing himself outside this same bank. FAIL!
- A robber surprised a woman in Georgia while she was in the shower, forced her into her bedroom…where she took a .22 out and shot and killed him on the spot. FAIL (BUT WIN!)
- A dude in Florida was crossbow hunting and accidentally shot himself in the foot. He tried to get his foot loose because the arrow went all the way through his foot and into the floor board of his ATV. Well – he couldn’t get it free so he said EFF IT and decided just to drive the ATV out of the woody to get help. But then – he got stuck in some brush…family members eventually found him and freed him. FAIL!