MONDAY SHOW BLOG (12/5/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: KAT DELUNA

MAKE RIZZ LAUGH:

WHAT MADE RIZZ LAUGH TODAY?!

A VERY RACIST – VERY INAPPROPRIATE JOKE!  CHECK THE 7AM PODCAST TO HEAR IT!  OOFAH!


WEEK IN RAGE RECAP:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StN5KpD3nJA

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  • Ticketmaster is looking to reimburse their customers for those outrageous processing fees they charge.  Customers are going to get about $1.50 for each of the concerts they have bought for about the past 5 years.  You get about $22 bucks in total if you want it.  They aren’t going to cut you a check though – you get a $22 Ticketmaster voucher.  Here is the funniest thing – you will STILL have to pay the processing fee for tickets. Which makes ZERO sense.  Check out all the info HERE.
  • Brooke Mueller was arrested for cocaine possession and assault while she was in Aspen, Colorado last week.  Idiot!
  • The rumors are true…this years Half Time Show will be Madonna and Cirque Du Sole…Neato!
  • Kourtney Kardashian is getting some criticism from Teen Mom 2′s Farrah….she is saying that this broad should look at the Teen Mothers on the MTV show…What a joke.  Kourtney responded: “Why would I look to teen mom?! I’m 32 years old.”  And the boyfriend responded on Twitter…”We’re not teenagers your effin moron.”  Classic! Check out the most disgusting picture ever…It’s Khloe Kardashian with NO MAKEUP….OOFAH!
  • Remember Deliverence…where Ned Beatty is raped in the woods?  Well – the Hillbilly raper….died from Cancer at the age of 80.

CRAPPY BIRTHDAY:
–Frankie Muniz – 26
–Jessica Pare – 29
Keri Hilson – 29
–Margaret Cho – 43
–Johnny Rzeznik – 46
–Little Richard – 79

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  • Phoenix Ray  – 30 – this hooker has been rained on more than the good people in Seattle in 153 fine films including:
    • Barnyard Babes
    • Hot Bods and Tailpipe Vol 19
    • Anytime Any Place
    • Eager Beavers 5
    • Boneyard BJs
    • All At Once
    • Oh My Gush! Vol 9

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  • How about this chick in Florida who called 911 and told them that her bf was scaring her and she wanted him OUT of the apartment.  Cops get there and they escort him out and he’s pissed – so he told them to check out her car.  And cops did – and then ran it and they found it to be in connection with a hit & run where someone died.  Cops connected the dots and found out it was her car…and arrested her.  Idiot.
  • A woman shoplifted some shoes this past weekend and she was being frisked and told cops she had a crack pipe…stuffed between her buttcheeks.
  • Patrick J. Sullivan – was busted for having a month long relationship with a gay man in exchange for meth.  He was arrested and currently sits in Patrick J. Sullivan Jail. Yes – jailed in a jail named after him.
  • The Mayor of a small town in Peru believes that the water is making the town gay.  That’s legit.  He said, “Unfortunately the minerals reduce male hormones and suddenly, as in other towns, the percentages are increasing of homosexuality.” Scientists found this to NOT be true. 
  • WHO FRIGGIN CARES: The U.S Postal Service will announce some cuts today to the first-class mail…which saves them about $3 billion dollars.  So – no instead of a 1 to 3 day delivery…your first class mail make take 2 to 4 days.
  • John Hinkley Jr. is asking for longer stays from the Mental Hospital – and eventually wants to stay OUT of the mental hospital because he believes he is better.  Why not put him straight into prison?  Well – the government says that he went to a bookstore instead of a movie…and checked out books about Presidents and Assassinations of Presidents.
  • A study shows that using a laptop with WiFi can harm your swimmers.  1 out of every 4 swimmers weren’t swimming anymore after being exposed to WiFi for at least 4 hours.  Results found that the samples without WiFi testing – no effect on the swimmers.

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  • We will chat more in depth with all your NFL recap when we chat with Ravey – but a quick list of the winners from this weekends action:  The Saints Packers, Broncos, and Dolphins all got wins. The Cardinals beat the Cowboys in Overtime.  The 49ers, Titans, Patriots, and Steelers get wins while the Chiefs surprised the Bears.  The Jets, Panthers, Texans, and Ravens also all got wins.  Tonight’s Monday Night game is between the Chargers and Jags in Jacksonville – kick off is at 6:30PM.
  • This is hilarious…Ndamukong Suh, the Lions tackle who is currently serving a two-game suspension for his arm stomp against Green Bay on Thanksgiving, crashed his car directly into a tree in Portland on Saturday.  He wasn’t drunk and no one was hurt but – stop being a douche and things like this probably wouldn’t happen.  As Riz always says…look out for Karma.
  • Some quick baseball news – the Miami Marlins have apparently made a  huge pick up.  They reached a deal with Jose Reyes.  Sources say the shortstop has agreed to a six year – $106 million dollar deal. 
  • The match up for the BCS championship is now set with top-ranked LSU to play against Alabama for the title. LSU was the only team to beat Bama this season. The two teams will play on January 9th at the Superdome in New Orleans. In the other BCS matchups: Oregon will play Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl, Clemson will play West Virginia in the Orange Bowl, Michigan will play Virginia Tech in the Sugar Bowl, Oklahoma State will play Stanford in the Fiesta Bowl.
  • Mizzou DID get a bowl game as well…they will play North Carolina in the Independence Bowl on Dec 26th. Mizzou basketball is still undefeated as they beat Northwestern this weekend.  They play Villanova tomorrow in New York at 6PM.
  • Some folks thought it would never happen again – but it did.  Tiger Woods won the Chevron World Challenge by one stroke yesterday and it was his first win in 749 days.  His last win was the Australian Masters in November of 2009.  
  • And finally – the Blues lost to the Hawks 5-2 on Saturday.  It was the return of David Perron – who scored a goal in the loss.  The next game is tomorrow against the Red Wings at the Scott Trade…puck drops at 6:30PM.


RING THE BELL:

  • Ben Affleck has a solid green dolphin tattoo on his side just about his belt line.  Word is he got it to cover up a high school girlfriends name.

ASK WAR & ANOTHER W.A.R LIST!
Ninjette Julia emailed in and said her boyfriend cries for any reason.  She wanted to know when is it OK for a dude to cry?! So we asked the listeners…FIRST…Is this woman a bitch for complaining that her boyfriend cries all that time? Our Listeners say: 87.1% say she is NOT being a bitch

NOW…WE WANT TO KNOW WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR A DUDE TO CRY:

  • Indians have slaughtered your family
  • Birth of a son/Find out your having a girl
  • Death of a child
  • Parents funeral
  • A Junk Injury
  • Injuries including severance – life altering injury  (the Joe Theisman rule)
  • Life Threatening Injuries
  • When the dog dies
  • Solider who returns home
  • Cuttin’ Onions

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  • TUESDAY: Emanuel Cordell Kennedy, a 37-year-old Union City man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly assaulted his mother with a ham. According to Union City Police, Kennedy’s 55-year-old mother, Brenda King, went to the police station to report that her son had thrown a ham at her during an argument inside her residence. She was reportedly struck in the back with the object as she walked down a hall. Kennedy claims that he did not mean to hit King with the meaty missile.  He stated that he did not know she was walking down the hall at that particular time. Kennedy still lives at home with his mother. Kennedy was booked into jail and charged with domestic assault. He is currently being held without bond.
  • WEDNESDAY: Mark Thomas Wach, of Palm City, shot at his lawn mower while drunk, fought his adult son and even pulled a shotgun on the adult son, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s office arrest affidavit. The 43-year-old man was tased three times before being taken into custody by deputies. But Wach was puzzled about his arrest: He reportedly told deputies that he shoots in the yard all the time and that fighting is what redneck people do, records state. Rednecks also have a tendency to get arrested, Bubba
  • THURSDAY: A man stabbed himself with a meat thermometer to see if he was ‘done or not’. Police and paramedics were called to the Newport, Tennessee home of a 38-year-old man on Wednesday, after he allegedly impaled himself with a turkey thermometer. Scott K. Kelly, 38, was found lying on the couch with a stab wound in his gut. During questioning Kelly told officers he was ‘basting himself and wanted to be left alone,’ . His explanation was that he had stabbed himself in the abdomen ‘to check his temperature, and to determine if he was done or not,’ the police report said. Officers observed a small hole where Kelly had stabbed himself in the lower stomach area, according to their report. He was taken to hospital.
  • FRIDAY: Kenneth Milosavich, a 55-year-old Colorado man was jailed Saturday after a woman allegedly caught him performing oral sex on her dog. According to Pueblo police, officers were dispatched to a woman’s home at around noon on Saturday after a woman called to complain that a man was in her backyard performing oral sex on her dog. Investigators say Milosavich performed oral sex on the female dog and then began pleasing himself in front of the dog. When police arrived on the scene, Milosavich had already fled to a nearby bar.  Officers tracked him to the bar where he was found to be in possession of crack cocaine. He was booked into the Pueblo jail on charges of animal cruelty, indecent exposure, possession of crack cocaine and drug possession. Court records indicate Milosavich was arrested on sex charges in 2004.
    • 4th Place – THE HAM HUCKER
    • 3rd Place -HUMAN TURKEY BASTER
    • 2nd Place - LAWN MOWER MOW DOWN
    • 1st Place – KENNY THE DOG CHOWER


BEAT A WOMAN – NFL WEEK 13

RAVEY (9-3) VS. TY

 THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
Eagles at Seahawks          
                 ((RAVEY/PHILLY  TY PICKS SEATTLE)) – SEA — TY POINT
Bengals at Steelers
                           ((BOTH PICK PITT)) – PITT

SUNDAY NIGHT GAME
Lions at Saints–                                ((BOTH PICK N.O)) – N.O.

TOTAL: 48 points

RAVEY TOTAL POINTS: 61
TY TOTAL POINTS: 73

Titans at Bills                                     ((RAVEY PICKS BUF // TY PICKS TENN)) – BUF – TY POINT
Broncos at Vikings   
                        ((BOTH PICK DEN)) – DEN
Panthers at Buccaneers–                  ((BOTH PICK CAR)) – CAR
Packers at Giants                              ((BOTH PICK G.B)) – G.B

 MONDAY NIGHT GAME
Chargers at Jaguars–                        ((BOTH PICK S.D))

LOCK OF THE WEEK
RAVEY: New England over the Colts – N.E – RAVEY POINT
TY: Cowboys over the Cardinals – ARI – NO POINT TO TY

OTHER GAMES:
Rams at 49ers           
                        ((BOTH PICK S.F)) – S.F
Raiders at Dolphins                           ((BOTH PICK OAK)) -MIA
Chiefs at Bears                                  ((BOTH PICK CHI)) – K.C.
Falcons at Texans                              ((BOTH PICK ATL)) – HOU
Jets at Redskins                                ((BOTH PICK NYJ)) – NYJ
Ravens at Browns                              ((BOTH PICK BAL)) – BAL

 RESULTS:
TOTAL POINTS WEEK 13:

RAVEY: 1
TY: 2

 TY WINS!  RAVEY GOES DOWN FOR THE THIRD STRAIGHT WEEK!
RAVEY TOTAL: 11 – 5                                                    RAVEY IS NOW 9-4!


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