WEDNESDAY SHOW BLOG (12/7/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: PATRICO MEGA FAIL

CHECK OUT THE PATRICO REMIX OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM…. THANKS TO ADAM FROM THE BAY FOR CREATING THIS!

DRIVE BY WHORING NUMBER 105 FOR LESA!  A GIRL CALLS OUT HER OWN MOTHER!

MAYOR FRED AND THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE YEAR FINALS!

1.  Retar-Ted (Woody, Rizz, Mayor Fred, Alderman Terry, Manballs & Patrico ALL ENDORSE)
YOUR 2011 WINNER OF THE JERRY SANDUSKY MEMORIAL TROPHY! 

2.  The Terminator

3.  Count Ragula

4. Dookie Howser

5. James Brown


  • This might be an actual legit lawsuit.  Back in March this woman in Michigan bought an 06 Explorer from a dealership.  After she bought it – she noticed it had an odor and she shouldn’t quite place it.  And as the weather got warmer, the smell got worse.  She ended up contacting her insurance agents, and they had a hazardous material team search the car.  And they found – the car smelled because it used to carry around a DEAD BODY! They investigated more and found the car had been stolen at least three times.  Between all the thefts and dead body – the car was clearly connected to some shady business.  She’s filed a lawsuit for failing to disclose the information.  She’s seeking $25K plus court fees.  
  • Women are incredibly skilled at making us think that our junk is the perfect size.  At some point, EVERY woman learns the catchphrase, “It’s the perfect size for ME…if it were any bigger it would be PAINFUL.”  Liars.  All LIES.  Researchers compiled some data from several surveys to figure out what women are hoping for when it comes to penis size….and they found that the average woman describes the ideal length to be 7.25 inches to 8.25 inches in length and 6.25 to 6.5 inches in girth.  But, the average penis size is 5.5 inches to 6.3 in length and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in girth.  So most women’s ideal size is longer and wider than 98% of men are packing. 
  • Despite this supposed “evolution of gender roles,” women still spend more time cooking and cleaning than men do.  According to a new survey, the average woman spends almost 10 hour a week – 85 minutes a day doing household chores, while men spend less than an hour – like 57 minutes a day.  Over the year a woman can expect to lose three full week of their lives to housework.  However, once children are introduced into the relationship a woman takes on even more of the household responsibility, spending 16 and half hours a week looking after the family and home, compared to the 11.5 hours put in by fathers.

  • The Blues beat the Red Wings last night 3-2 last night moving them into second place in the Central Division.  Goals by Steen, Backes, and Berglund gave the Blues enough to get past the Wings.  Their next game is Thursday against the Ducks at the Scott Trade.
  • So I actually heard people yesterday calling it “The Decision II” and reports said that it would be announced before the night ended where Albert Pujols was going to play.  But then the Cards made the counter offer and Pujols’ agent asked for more time.  Florida was offering Albert 10 years at $200 million dollars.  Well it’s rumored that the Cards are no offering 10 years at $220 million.  All sources say that SOME deal could be announced as early as this morning…but now it’s just a waiting game.
  • Mizzou continued it’s impressive run after beating Villanova last night 81-71 and improving their record to 8-0.  The Tigers are currently ranked 10th and next play Navy in Mizzou on Saturday. 23rd ranked SLU plays tonight against Vermont.  That game is at 7PM. 
  • And finally this is just funny.  A couple weeks ago the Houston Texans had one of the top 10 QB’s in the league behind center with Matt Schaub. Then he gets injured.  Then Matt Leinart took over – he won the Heismann so he’s pretty decent right? He gets hurt.  Then you have some rookie named T.J Yates step in.  What if he goes down? His back up?  Jack Delhomme…and as of yesterday – the Texans have signed 41 year old Jeff Garcia as their third string QB! To make room for the new QB – the Texans cut Kellen Clemens.  Houston plays Cinci on Sunday.

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  • Arthur B. Andrews, 36, was issued a citation for his attempts to seek sorely needed medical advice at an Illinois shopping mall. Late in the evening on Nov. 19, police received calls from employees at Orland Square Mall reporting that a man was attempting to ‘flash’ people. What police reportedly discovered was that the man was, in fact, seeking medical advice from mall personnel regarding an apparently raging case of hemorrhoids. Several store employees told police that the man – later identified as Andrews – kept approaching them, asking them to look at his hemorrhoids and, immediately after asking and before they could respond, turning around and showing them his ‘condition.’ After obtaining a description of the suspect, the officer reportedly found Andrews in a lower level bathroom. A second news report identified Andrews as a ‘fellow employee’ of the complainants. If so, it is a sad day, indeed, when a person cannot seek out the opinion of coworkers on a simple butt painful affliction such as his. Andrews was cited for disorderly conduct and is scheduled for a municipal hearing on Dec. 13. He was released without incident.

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  • Alec Baldwin was booted off a flight because he was playing Words with Friends on his phone before take off.  The American Airlines flight booted him because he slammed the bathroom door super hard.  Not sure.  He tweeted about it all pissed off and got booked on a later flight.
  • Erin Andrews has just filed a MULTI-MILLION dollar lawsuit against the dude who video taped her from the peep hole.  She is looking for $6 Million Dollars from the hotel and $4 million dollars from the actual dude.
  • Two And A Half Men is still climbing and UBER-SUCCESFUL even after the departure of Charlie Sheen.  Crazy.  People thought it would die…but it’s still going strong.
  • CHECK OUT THE NEW JERSEY SHORE TRAILER BY CLICKING HERE!
  • Jesse James is not looking to impress any Sandra Bullock fans.  On the premiere of his reality show is blaming Sandra for “loosing touch with himself.”  What a toolbox.
  • Adam Sandler is making a sequel to Grown Ups.  It’s his first sequel ever.  Hard to believe.
  • WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHOWS LIBERALS LOVE? CHECK OUT THE ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY FULL ARTICLE BY CLICKING HERE.
    • 30 Rock
    • Parks and Rec
    • Modern Family
    • It’s Always Sunny
    • Letterman
    • Daily Show
    • Colbert Report
  • CONSERVATIVES SHOW LOVES?
    • NCIS
    • Mentalist
    • Hawaii Five-o
    • Biggest Loser
    • Swamp Loggers
    • Man v. Wild
    • American Pickers
    • Pawn Stars

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Emily Browning – 23
–Nicholas Hoult – 23
–Aaron Carter – 24

–Jennifer Carpenter – 32
–Terrell Owens – 38
–”He Used To Be” C. Thomas Howell – 45
–LARRY BIRD – 55
–Priscilla Barnes – 56

–Tom Waits – 62
–Johnny Bench – 64 

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  • Angel Kelly – 49 – Today’s birthday bitch has had her tongue stuck to more poles than Flick in A Christmas Story in 195 fine films including:
    • Sticky Situation
    • Blackman And Anal Woman
    • In And Out Of Africa
    • Saturday Night Beaver
    • Lust Connection
    • Balling For Dollars

BITCH BE TRIPPIN:

  • A woman in NY has been charged with giving herself an abortion.  Cops are not sure how she exactly did it – they think she drank some kind of abortion-causing tea.  Real issue here is the fetus was over 24 weeks old – which means it’s illegal.  She put the fetus in a plastic bag and put it in the garbage.  OOFAH!
  • A 17 year old girl from Cali had been telling her out of town boyfriend that she was knocked up with his kid for the last 9 months.  When she really wasn’t!  But – her 15 year old roommate had a kid that she planned on making her own.  So she hired two gang members to kidnap the baby during a fake robbery at their apartment.  For some reason – the gang members ransacked the place, forced the roommate into the bedroom and did not kidnap the baby.  The did take a PlayStation.  Regardless everyone who was involved gout caught.  What an idiot!  BBT!
  • An elementary school teacher in Oklahoma is being investigated after throwing a strange Christmas Party for some of her students.  The teacher invited some of the girl from her class for a pizza party.  Once the girls were than she came out of her room and told the girls she had an outfit for them….she surprised them with a bra and panties on that said Ho Ho Ho on them and such.  Two girls refused but she still convinced some girls to change into it and she took pictures of the girl and then made them Skype with a dude named Uncle G.  BBT!
  • Cops in Cali rolled up to a house after getting a call from a “distressed” 62 year old man. When they arrived they found the man had multiple cuts to his genital area.  The man said that his wife tried to cut off his donger with a pair of large scissors.  He lived…but seriously….BBT!
  • Cops in South Carolina arrested a woman named Patty for murdering a family friend…then hiding the body underneath a pile of Christmas presents.  The family friend was staying with her because she was having financial issues.  They’re not sure why she decided to kill her – but cops say that she stole two of her credit cards and tried to use them after the murder.  BBT!
  • A woman in Texas was arguing with her boyfriend when she picked up his dog and tossed him into the dumpster.  She then climbed into the dumpster lifted the dog above her head and then slammed in onto the cement.  She also tried to poison the dog.  Why did she do it?  She said the boyfriend liked the dog more than her.  Odd!  BBT!
  • A woman in Vermont walked up and slammed a bloody, dripping, dead raccoon against the doors of City Hall.  The doors wound up being smeared with coon blood.  BBT!
  • A Miami police department was looking at major budget cuts over the summer, and planned to lay off just under 10% of their staff.  A woman had been on the force for 24 years and her friend had been there for 15 years.  So – they came up with a plan to get a city manager to leave their position.  Oddly enough – their plan was to use Santaria (which is like Voodoo) by casting a spell on him with birdseed.  These two dumb broads asked the janitor to do the deed and he turned them in.  What an idiot!  BBT!

iPOD CHALLENGE:

WHOSE iPOD? WOODY

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