MONDAY SHOW BLOG (12/12/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: PIA TOSCANO

NEED SOMETHING FOR THE SPECIAL HOOSIER ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST?

  • Check this thing out….this is a foreal thing….We love TRUCK NUTZ . . . they’re the plastic auto accessory in the shape of a SCROTUM that you hang from your trailer hitch.  And now, there might be an even dumber sexual accessory for your ride. It’s a GIANT PINK THONG that fits over the entire back half of your car.  Supposedly a novelty company is going to start making them next year.  You really have to see the picture to understand how absurd these are. In fact, it’s so absurd that this is probably just a one-time joke . . . but the picture’s still pretty funny. 

RIDICULOUS CHRISTMAS SONGS?

  • JAMES BROWN – SANTA CLAUS COME STRAIGHT TO THE GHETTO
  • DIRTY BOYZ – ALL I WANT TO CHRISTMAS IS TO GET CRUNK (WE LIKE IT)
  • LUDACRIS – LUDACRISMAS ( WE LIKE IT)
  • BOB AND DOUG MCKENZIE – 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (WE HATE)
  • NEW SONG – THE CHRISTMAS SHOES (WE HATE)
  • CHIPMUNKS – THE CHRISTMAS SONG (HATE IT)
  • SPIKE JONZE – ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH (HATE IT!)
  • DAVID BOWIE AND BING CROSBY – LITTLE DRUMMER BOY (HATE IT!)
  • We found some of the WORST Christmas songs of all time.  Seriously – these are painful!
    • CHECK OUT THIS SURVEY OF THE TOP 5 WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS:
      • I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW0aj-ngpIg

      • DOMINIC THE DONKEY:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQrdxtWgHbE

      • 12 DAYS OF THE XMAS:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8

      • I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMfcfYcIDbg

      • JINGLE BELLS:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg

      • GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfs4FKbJzL0

      • MELE KALIKIMAKA:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEvGKUXW0iI

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  • Corporate Jargon drives us crazy.  Career Builder surveyed 5,000 workers to find out what corporate buzz words would be banished.  Here are the top 10:
    • IN ORDER FROM 10 to ONE: Elevator pitch, Value-add, Bring to the table, Mission-critical, Incentivize, Best of breed, Loop Me In, Synergy, Low-hanging fruit, Outside the box
  • More CareerBuilder stuff – 40% of businesses plan to give bonuses this year. 58% of companies are planning on throwing some sort of party.  Only 36% of people plan on attending the party.  One in four people will hook up with someone at the Christmas party.  Those in PR are most likely to go all the way with people.  When it comes to really letting their hair down – travel and leisure workers are the most likely to get naked…with one in ten admitting to doing a naked flash at their Xmas bash!
  • Turns out that no one wants a holiday office party anymore.  We’ll take the cash.  According to a new poll – only 4% of workers said a party…even open bar..is one of their top three choices for a holiday perk from their employer. 72% want a cash bonus.  62% want a raise.  32% want time off.  23% would like a grocery gift card.  14% would like to be able to work from home for a year.  11% would like shares of stock in the company.  10% would like a health care subsidy.  8% would like a gym membership.  And then DEAD LAST….4% picked a holiday party.
  • So Lowe’s was being asked to pull all their advertising from a new show on TLC called, “All-American Muslim.”  A Florida PTC type group was petitioning for the company to pull all ads because of the values and the show and THEY DID! Lowes reps said, “we have received a significant amount of communication on this program, from every perspective possible. Individuals and groups have strong political and societal views on this topic, and this program became a lightning rod for many of those views. As a result we did pull our advertising on this program.” Now -Democratic Sen. Ted Lieu from Southern California calls Lowe’s decision to pull the commercial “un-American” and “naked religious bigotry.”  He’s considering taking legal action if Lowe’s doesn’t return the advertisement to the program.
    • WOODY’S TAKE: How are you going to FORCE someone to spend money during this show?  This senator is saying that if they don’t put the ads back they are putting a racist label on Lowes for NOT advertising.  YOU CAN ADVERTISE WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT TO!

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  • The Blues beat the Sharks over the weekend 1-0.  They are off for the next couple of days but take on the Rangers on Thursday at the Scott Trade. On a hockey side note – Keith Tkachuk will be inducted into the U.S Hockey Hall of Fame today.  Tkachuk finished his career with the Blues and had a career 538 goals and 1,065 points.
  • Robert Griffin III won the Heisman over the weekend.  The Junior from Baylor beat out Andrew Luck to bring home the trophy for the first time in Baylor’s history.  Sucks for Luck…this is the second year in a row he has finished second in the Heisman voting.  Doesn’t suck for Luck?  He’ll still probably be the top draft pick of 2012.  
  • Speaking of College Sports…just because…watch this fight between Xavier and Cinci over the weekend.  A basketball game took place while a fight was going down.  Or at least – that’s what it seems.  It was near the end of the game and after some “jaw jabbin” benches cleared and one of the Cinci players leveled a Xavier player…then while he was down – another player stomped on his FACE!  Check out the video on today’s show blog.
  • We’ll get the full NFL recap when we chat with Ravey during the Beat A Woman segment but here are the winners from yesterday’s action.  The Texans, Lions, Saints, and Eagles get the win.  The Jets destroyed the Chiefs, while the Patriots, Falcons, Ravens, and Chargers win.  The Jaguars dominated the Bucs while it took overtime for the Broncos to beat the Bears.  Sunday night game was a good one – and the Giants barely edged out the Cowboys 37-34.  Week 14 wraps up tonight – the BEST Monday Night Football game of the year HANDS DOWN…won’t be tonight.  It’s the Rams and Seahawks at 7:30PM on ESPN.
  • And finally – Milwaukee OF Ryan Braun – who is the NL MVP – tested positive for Performance Enhancing Drugs.  He is appealing the charge but if it goes through – he could face a 50 game ban. 

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  • The Playboy pictures of Lindsay Lohan were released on Friday – and it’s not too bad.   It’s mega Photo Shopped.  They took off all her freckles and her tattoos.  It’s total Marilyn Monroe thing.  Boobs and butt are shown but no faginer.  Someone stole the pictures or something then Playboy released them officially.  She spent the weekend in Hawaii – and someone stole her purse.  They returned it…minus $10,o00 in CASH INSIDE.  WHO THE HELL CARRIES $10,000 IN CASH?!
  • Charlie Sheen accidentally shared his cell phone number with Twitter people.  He mistakenly posted it to the public after accidentally trying to send Justin Bieber his cell phone number. He played with it for a while and answered it by saying, “Winning!” and stuff. 
  • The top 10 AFI movies of 2011:”Bridesmaids,” “The Descendants,” “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” “The Help,” “Hugo,” “J. Edgar,” “Midnight in Paris,” “Moneyball,” “The Tree of Life” and “War Horse.” On the television front, the AFI TV programs of the year: “Breaking Bad,” “Boardwalk Empire,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Game of Thrones,” “The Good Wife,” “Homeland,” “Justified,” “Louie,” “Modern Family” and “Parks and Recreation.”
  • In a book written by Linda Hogan – and during a radio station interview – she claims that Hulk beat her during their marriage and then also had a gay relationship with Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  Well – Hulk is fed up.  He sued her for defamation last week.  And now The Barber is looking to sue as well. 
  • Alec Baldwin made a surprise appearance on SNL appearing as an American Airlines pilot….who apologized to himself.  Click HERE to check out this video.
  • OnlineGamblingPal.com has bought some of Michael Jacksons hair and will make it into a Roulette Ball.

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
–Erica Dahm – 34
–MAYIM BIALIK! – 36 ((RIZZ’S CHILDHOOD CRUSH))
–Jennifer Connelly! – 41
–Bill Nighy – 62
–Dionne Warwick – 71
–Connie Francis – 73
–Ed Koch – 87
–Bob Barker – 88

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  • Christie Lake – 47 – today’s hooker has seen more penis than Santa has seen cookies in 231 fine films including:
    • Sex Across America Vol 3
    • Deep Throat: The Quest 5 Slick Willie Rides Again
    • My Horny Valentine
    • Chug A Lug Girls
    • Sleeping Booty
    • The Adventures of the Fart Bitches

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  • TUESDAY: A Rochester, PA man repeatedly fought with police officers, vandalized the inside of a patrol car and tried to drown himself in a urinal Monday police said. Samuel D. Boyd, 23,  is charged with driving under the influence, possession of a controlled substance, possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, possession with intent to use drug paraphernalia, resisting arrest, making terroristic threats, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. Boyd did not follow field sobriety test directions and refused to have his blood drawn at the hospital. Boyd tried to run away after being handcuffed and then started pushing and kicking officers who tried to search him. As he was doing this, Boyd was also threatening to kill the cops. Boyd continued struggling with police, but he was put on the ground after more officers arrived. Police found 64 stamp bags of heroin, straws and about $230 in cash on Boyd. While being taken to the police station, Boyd ripped off a window cage in the back of a Rochester patrol car, causing $750 in damage. An officer had to ride in the back of the car with Boyd, who continually threatened to kill the cops, police said. Even after he was at the station, Boyd refused to exit the car and kicked and pushed several officers. Once inside a cell, police said, Boyd tried to drown himself in a urinal, which forced an officer watch him.
  • WEDNESDAY: Arthur B. Andrews, 36, was issued a citation for his attempts to seek sorely needed medical advice at an Illinois shopping mall. Late in the evening on Nov. 19, police received calls from employees at Orland Square Mall reporting that a man was attempting to ‘flash’ people. What police reportedly discovered was that the man was, in fact, seeking medical advice from mall personnel regarding an apparently raging case of hemorrhoids. Several store employees told police that the man – later identified as Andrews – kept approaching them, asking them to look at his hemorrhoids and, immediately after asking and before they could respond, turning around and showing them his ‘condition.’ After obtaining a description of the suspect, the officer reportedly found Andrews in a lower level bathroom. A second news report identified Andrews as a ‘fellow employee’ of the complainants. If so, it is a sad day, indeed, when a person cannot seek out the opinion of coworkers on a simple butt painful affliction such as his. Andrews was cited for disorderly conduct and is scheduled for a municipal hearing on Dec. 13. He was released without incident.
  • THURSDAY: Two women are accused of using a baby as a weapon by wildly swinging the baby’s car seat at security guards after they were stopped for allegedly shoplifting. Jodie Willis, 25, and 21-year-old Megan Kelley, of Orlando, Florida, are also accused of trying to use the shopping cart, with Kelley’s baby daughter in it in a car seat, to push past the guards when they were first stopped at the city’s Walmart store.According to investigators, the two women pushed the cart while they allegedly placed items in a brown bag. Deputies say when security guards stopped the women, Willis picked up the car seat and violently swung it around. The police report says it was ‘perpendicular to the ground.’ ‘An officer thought the child was going to fall out, putting the child’s life at risk,’. The arrest report also says Megan snatched her baby and ran out of the store while Willis punched one of the security officers in the face and kicked him in the groin. Both women have been charged with robbery and child neglect.
  • FRIDAY: A Georgia man preparing for the Christmas season spent a night in jail after he was arrested for shooting at mistletoe outside a Decatur shopping mall. William E. Robinson, 66, was charged with reckless conduct and discharging a firearm on someone else’s property after he opened fire on a tree that held a sprig of the plant, which is commonly used as a Christmas decoration. Robinson said that he was merely following a holiday tradition when he used his double-barrel 12-gauge shotgun to knock the plant out of a tree outside the Mall. “Every year I go somewhere to get some mistletoe to decorate the house,” Robinson told the station. “I get some for my friends that can’t get mistletoe. The best way to get it is with a shotgun.” Most people simply purchase mistletoe. But in some parts of the country, it’s a tradition to shoot first and decorate later. Southerners preparing for Christmas have long used shotguns loaded with birdshot to knock mistletoe from trees.
    • 4th Place: HEMROID HELPER
    • 3rd Place:  BATHROOM BOTCHED SUICIDER
    • 2nd Place: MUSKET MISTLETOER
    • THE WINNER: BABY SWINGING BABES

BEAT A WOMAN – NFL WEEK 14
RAVEY (9-4) VS. TIM FIELD

THURSDAY NIGHT GAME
Browns at Steelers
                ((BOTH PICK STEELERS)) – PITT

SUNDAY NIGHT GAME
Giants at Cowboys    
            ((RAVEY PICKS COWBOYS // TIM PICK NYG))  NYG – TIM’S POINT
(RAVEY total points: 62               TIM total points: 53…ACTUAL: 71)

Texans at Bengals                             ((RAVEY PICK BENGALS // TIM PICKS TEXANS)) – HOU – TIM’S POINT
Bills at Chargers
                   ((RAVEY PICKS CHARGERS // TIM PICKS BILLS)) – S.D – RAVEY’S POINT
Buccaneers at Jaguars          ((RAVEY PICK BUCS // TIM PICKS JACKSONVILLE)) – JAX – TIM’S POINT

 MONDAY NIGHT GAME
Rams at Seahawks
                            ((BOTH PICK SEAHAWKS))

LOCK OF THE WEEK:
TIM: Ravens over Colts                   ((BOTH PICKS RAVENS))  - BAL – TIM POINT
RAVEY: Jets over Chiefs                 ((BOTH PICK JETS))  - NYJ – RAVEY POINT

OTHER GAMES
Vikings at Lions                                
((BOTH PICK LIONS)) – DET
Falcons at Panthers                           ((BOTH PICK FALCONS)) – ATL
Saints at Titans                                  ((BOTH  PICK SAINTS)) – N.O
Raiders at Packers                             ((BOTH PICK PACKERS)) – G.B
Patriots at Redskins                          ((BOTH PICK PATRIOTS)) – N.E
49ers at Cardinals                              ((BOTH PICK 49ERS)) – ARI
Bears at Broncos                               ((BOTH PICKS BRONCOS)) – DEN
Eagles at Dolphins                             ((BOTH PICK DOLPHINS)) – PHIL

 TOTAL POINTS:
RAVEY: 2
TIM: 4

 TIM WINS! RAVEY LOOSES FOR THE 4th WEEK IN A ROW!

RAVEY TOTAL: 10 – 5

RAVEY IS NOW 9-5 ON THE YEAR!

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