WEDNESDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBRITIES

In today’s CRAP ON will chat about Jessica Simpson having her baby and all the details, plus you can check out a Two and Half Men cast update!  Pretty sweet if you are him.  Check it all out with today’s PORNO BIRTHDAY and Crappy Bdays!

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In case you didn’t hear the explosion, JESSICA SIMPSON gave birth yesterday.  She and her fiancé now have a healthy . . . and heavy . . . baby girl. They named her Maxwell Drew Johnson, and she emerged from Jessica’s womb at 9 pounds, 13 ounces . . . which is just three ounces shy of 10 pounds.  (Not surprising, given how big Jessica got.) TMZ says Jessica’s birthing suite at Cedars-Sinai Hospital is costing her $3,784 a day.  They also posted some pictures of it.

A forensic expert mocked up a photo of what JESSICA SIMPSON’S baby will look like in a few years . . . and I can’t decide of it’s CUTE or CREEPY. So we’re giving it the YES OR NO treatment.  CHECK IT OUT HERE

The “Hollywood Reporter” says ASHTON KUTCHER has signed on for another season of “Two and a Half Men” . . . but not for as much money as people thought he would get. There aren’t any specific numbers, but he’ll make “slightly more” than the $700,000 per episode that he’s making this season.  That’s roughly $15 million for the whole year. The show’s other stars, JON CRYER and ANGUS T. JONES, have agreed to return too, with “small raises” over their current salaries. According to reports, Jon is making $660,000 an episode this season . . . while Angus is pulling down $250,000 per episode.  That’s $14.4 million a year for Jon, and $6 million for Angus, who’s just 18 years old. We heard that Ashton could get $1 million per episode, for TWO seasons.  But the “Hollywood Reporter” says the cast was reluctant to commit beyond one more year. Especially Angus, who wants to go to college after the upcoming season. Technically, CBS hasn’t renewed “Two and a Half Men” for next season, but that seems inevitable.  The ratings are down a little, but the show still makes a ton of money.

 

JERRY SEINFELD is doing some kind of project that involves his former “Seinfeld” partner LARRY DAVID . . . as well as RICKY GERVAIS and ALEC BALDWIN. Jerry’s been dropping hints about it on Twitter.  On Monday, he Tweeted a picture of himself with Larry, along with the caption, “Seiny and LD back together again?  What could this mean?” Then he Tweeted a photo of the two of them with a classic Volkswagen Beetle, and the caption, “Here’s a clue:  A 1952 VW.” Last week he posted pictures of himself with some other classic cars . . . and in one of them, Ricky was in a car with him.   Back on March 9th, he posted a picture of himself and Baldwin, with the caption, quote, “Working on my New Thing.  Shooting in Manhattan with the Great Alec Baldwin.” We don’t know what this “new thing” is yet, but Jerry’s rep says it’s not a TV commercial.

 

 

Who knew God was a film critic?  There was a four-alarm fire at TYLER PERRY’S studio lot in Atlanta yesterday.  It’s not clear if anything was going on there at the time.  No injuries were reported, and there’s no word on the cause. At least one building on the 30-actre lot had partially collapsed.  The fire was mostly under control by 10:00 P.M. The lot houses numerous sets and soundstages, plus a 400-seat theater.  

CHECK OUT THE NEW DARK KNIGHT TRAILER:

CHECK OUT THE SKRILLEX/DAMION MARLEY SONG:

 

The not-always-reliable “National Enquirer” says that SNOOKI is getting NO LOVE from her fiancé JIONNI LAVALLE because he doesn’t like the way she looks pregnant. Unfortunately for Snooki, thanks to her hormones she needs it now more than ever. A “source” says, quote, “Joinni feels she’s blown up like a beach ball.  He thinks it’s gotten to the point where they need to cool their jets until after the baby’s born.” Meanwhile, “Snooki’s become one big, hot mess.  She goes on crying jags one minute, and the next minute she’s all lovey-dovey.  She expects him to perform on demand any time of day or night.”

 

Here’s an example of how much has changed in CHARLIE SHEEN’S life:  Charlie threatened to sue a New York City strip joint called Cheetahs because they had a VIP room named after him. The room had pictures of Charlie on the wall, and for $250, patrons could eat sushi off a stripper’s naked body.  But because of Charlie’s threat, they removed all references to him.

 

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–The Rock – 40  (Just beat John Cena at “Wrestlemania 28″.
–Ellie Kemper – 32  (Erin on “The Office”)
–Christine Baranski – 60
–David Beckham – 37
–JENNA VON OY – 35  (That naughty little tramp Six on “Blossom”)

 

 

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Sara Faye – 27 – Today’s birthday girl has taken more shots to the face than Osama Bin Laden……in 31 fine films including:
“Hairy Movie”
“The Bush Administration”
“My Girlfriend Squirts Volume 7”
“Squirt-A-Holics Volume 5”
“Squirt-A-Licious”
“Squirt Hunter Volume 6”
“Storm Squirters Volume 3”
“Team Squirt Volume 8”
“Big Slippery White Butts Volume 1”

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