FRIDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBRITIES

In today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about Bristol Palin and her stance on gay marriage.   Howard Stern and the PTC are talking AGT and you can see today’s CRAPPY BDAYS and the WORLD FAMOUS PORNO BDAY!

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If your hypocrisy detector hasn’t stopped beeping all day, it’s probably BRISTOL PALIN’S fault.  Check out what she had to say in response to PRESIDENT OBAMA’S support of gay marriage. She wrote a blog that was actually directed at Obama’s daughters Sasha and Malia, because of their supposed role in helping their dad’s position on same-sex marriage “evolve”. As you probably heard, Obama said his daughters have friends with same-sex parents. So Bristol said, quote, “In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage. Or that . . . as great as her friends may be . . . we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother / father home.  Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview. In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of ‘Glee’.”

The Parents Television Council recently demanded that advertisers boycott “America’s Got Talent” because they were concerned that having HOWARD STERN on a primetime family show would RUIN OUR CHILDREN. Well, Stern was everywhere yesterday promoting the season premiere, which airs Monday . . . and naturally, he addressed the PTC’s outrage. He said, quote, “I think it’s kind of silly of anyone to say, ‘Gee, we’re against Howard on the show,’ and they haven’t seen the show. But he isn’t FLOORED that the PTC would be concerned.  In fact, even he was surprised NBC was interested in bringing him onboard. Howard says (quote) “NBC should pay [the PTC] millions of dollars.  The more they keep issuing the statements, [the more] it makes me seem more interesting and controversial.” For the record, the producers LOVE the hire.  One of them said, quote, “[He's] a controversial figure, but he knows he’s here to do a job, which is to find talent that’s going to amaze people.  He’s the closest [thing] to SIMON COWELL that I’ve ever met.”

 

To pay tribute to the late ADAM YAUCH, “Rolling Stone” polled their readers to compile a list of The Best Beastie Boys Songs of All Time.  They released the results yesterday.  Here’s the list:
1.)  “Sabotage” . . . from “Ill Communication”
2.)  “Paul Revere” . . . from “Licensed to Ill”
3.)  “So What’cha Want” . . . from “Check Your Head”
4.)  “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)” . . . from “Licensed to Ill”
5.)  “No Sleep ‘Till Brooklyn” . . . from “Licensed to Ill”
6.)  “Intergalactic” . . . from “Hello Nasty”
7.)  “Brass Monkey” . . . from “Licensed to Ill”
8.)  “Sure Shot” . . . from “Ill Communication”
9.)  “Shake Your Rump” . . . from “Paul’s Boutique”
10.)  “Get It Together” . . . from “Ill Communication”

CONAN O’BRIEN will be a guest on “The Late Show with David Letterman” next Thursday.  It’ll be his first time on the show in 13 YEARS. Obviously, we can expect some jabs at JAY LENO . . . since both Conan and Letterman have lost gigs on “The Tonight Show” to Leno. 20 years ago, Leno was brought in to replace JOHNNY CARSON when Letterman was expected to get the job . . . and in 2010, NBC basically pushed Conan out after seven months when Jay decided he didn’t want to retire.

Someone actually combed through SAMUEL L. JACKSON’S Twitter account . . . which he started eight months ago . . . and counted all the different ways Sam has spelled “mother[effer]“, or close approximations of it.And this person counted 57. The list is MIGHTY impressive….CHECK IT HERE

 

BLINK-182 has canceled some shows because drummer TRAVIS BARKER had to undergo an emergency procedure. There were some people freaking out thinking it was something REALLY serious…..but you can relax…..it was just a tonsillectomy. Travis Tweeted, quote, “My throat still feels like I’m swallowing broken [effing] glass.  Looking forward to this being over with . . . [it's] been a pain but green tea ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner is the jump off.” He’ll be fine.  He survived a PLANE CRASH.  He can handle a tonsillectomy.

 

QUICK STUFF:
LIMP BIZKIT
says their next album will be called “Stampede of The Disco Elephants”. Well, at least it’s better than “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water”. There’s no release date yet.  But it’s supposed to be out sometime this year.

WWE superstar JOHN CENA has filed for divorce from his wife Liz.  They were high school sweethearts, and Liz has hired the same lawyer who helped LINDA HOGAN take HULK to the cleaners.

It’s official:  NBC has renewed “Community” for a 13-episode fourth season.  It’s unclear if CHEVY CHASE will be back . . . but for now, no one is saying that he won’t be.

Russell Brand will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards next month. Brand hosted the MTV Video Music Awards in 2008 and 2009, but this will be his first time taking the stage for the Movie Awards — which will air on June 3rd.

WEEKEND TV:
TONIGHT:
CBS: The season finales of UNDERCOVER BOSS and CSI: NY
ABC: SHARK TANK
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOWS
THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN (CBS) – Jon Cryer THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO (NBC) – Jenna Fischer and Jay Mohr THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON (CBS) – Larry King, Anna Chlumsky

SATURDAY:
HGTV: The premiere of “Mom Caves” Which is a new show hosted by Howard Stern’s wife, Beth. It’s a “Man Caves” spin-off.
NBC: “Saturday Night Live” — Will Ferrell guest hosts and Usher is the musical guest.

SUNDAY:
CBS: The season finale of SURVIVOR
NBC: THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
FOX: THE SIMPSONS, FAMILY GUY and the season finale of AMERICAN DAD
ABC: The 2 hour SERIES finale of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
AMC: MAD MEN
HBO: GAME OF THRONES
SHOWTIME: NURSE JACKIE and THE BIG C

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Stephen Colbert – 48
–Robert Pattinson – 26  (“Twilight”)
–Cam Newton – 23  (Carolina Panthers’ QB)
–Emilio Estevez – 50
–Stevie Wonder – 62
–Tony Hawk – 44
–Jason Biggs – 34  (Jim in the “American Pie” movies)
–Darius Rucker – 46  (Hootie of Hootie & The Blowfish)
–Kim Fields – 43  (Tootie on the “Facts of Life”)
–Dennis Rodman – 51
–Stephen Baldwin – 46
–Ving Rhames – 53
–Yogi Berra – 87
–Cory Monteith – 30  (The “jock” on “Glee”)
–Louis Farrakhan – 79  (Black supremacist.)
–Steve Winwood – 64  (Biggest hits:  “Back in the High Life” and “Higher Love”.)
–Harvey Keitel – 73
–Scotty Schwartz – 44  (The kid who got his tongue stuck to the pole in “A Christmas Story” who also had a brief foray in the PORNO industry . . . in which he did mostly non-sexual roles and managed other stars.  Now he runs a card and memorabilia shop with his dad.)

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Presley Maddox – 26 – Today’s birthday girl has been in bed with more dudes than a politician on the take….in 97 fine films including:
“Clean on the Outside Pink on the Inside Volume 2”
“Who’s Your Daddy Volume 10”
“Down The Hatch Volume 21”
“The Good The Bad And The Slutty Volume 2”
“Tug Jobs Volume 10”
“Bubble Butt Bonanza Volume 9”
“Filthy’s Monster Penis’ Volume 2”
“Big Gulps Volume 3”
“I’m A Cheerleader So Bang Me”

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