TUESDAY’S DISCOUNT NEWS

In today’s DISCOUNT NEWS we talk about an AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY creeper.  We have another Woody and Rizzuto Parent of the Year nominee.  And of course…people have some BEST LAID PLANS…and well…you’ll see what happens.  Idiots.
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A Texas ‘Teacher of the Year” is facing an uncertain future as claims of “sexting” have led to his arrest on Thursday. John McDaniel, 32, was taken into custody after voluntarily meeting with Grapevine Police to discuss the allegations against him. McDaniel, a band director and teacher at Colleysville Middle School, was accused of having improper relations with a former 15-year-old student. McDaniel did not have any physical relations with the student, however, evidence indicates that he may have been send nude photos and erotic text messages to the girl.

WOODY AND RIZZ PARENT OF THE YEAR NOMINEE! On Friday night, 19-year-old Catalina Clouser of Phoenix, Arizona was at a park with her boyfriend and her ONE-MONTH-OLD BABY, drinking beer and smoking marijuana. They went to get more beer . . . but her boyfriend was pulled over for a DUI.  The cops took him away, leaving her and the baby. She went to a friend’s house, smoked more marijuana, then decided to drive home. As she was leaving, she put the baby ON THE ROOF of the car in his car seat.  But apparently she FORGOT HE WAS THERE . . . because she drove off with the baby still on the roof. The car seat and the baby FELL off the roof of the car.  She didn’t notice . . . and miraculously, he wasn’t hurt. Clouser didn’t realize what she’d done until she got home.  She drove back to look for her baby . . . as the cops were arriving after getting a call about an abandoned baby in the street. She was arrested for aggravated DUI and child abuse . . . the baby is with child services.

On March 24th, 32-year old James Ayers and 23-year-old Nicole Okrzesik suffocated an 18-year-old friend of theirs named Juliana Mensch.    Police found her decomposing body under a pile of the couple’s laundry five days later, and arrested James.  Then in May, they also arrested Nicole.    And the couple’s plan fell apart because apparently they didn’t know how to CLEAR their browser history.  Here’s some of the online evidence they left behind:

#1.)  They Googled, quote, “What’s on those rags that make people pass out?”  We did the search to see what they found, and Yahoo!  Answers would have directed them to chloroform.

#2.)  They also Googled, quote, “Ways to kill people in their sleep.”  And the top search match was a Wikipedia entry on “Homicidal sleepwalking”.

#3.)  They Googled, quote, “Could you kill someone in their sleep and no one would think it was murder?”  That would have given them “Homicidal sleepwalking” again . . . but another link suggests using a knife, gun with a silencer, or heavy object.

#4.)  They Googled, quote, “How to suffocate someone.”  There’s a dumb YouTube video showing how to use a pillow and a couple links that talk about how long it would take.

#5.)  They also had long text message conversations about the murder itself.  James texted Nicole, quote, “You held her down. You’re guilty of murder too.”

#6.)  And finally, they had private Facebook conversations about disposing the body:  James wrote to Nicole, quote, “If the smell gets worse, we’re [effed].”

 

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