Today’s HEADLINE HOOSHE has us introduced to a woman who has been taking a TON of stuff from COSTCO lately.  And her method of sneaking it out of the store is pretty damn impressive!

Any woman with THIGHS THIS POWERFUL is immediately a goddess in my book.  Even if she is a criminal.  I’ll wait for her. For the past few weeks, 26-year-old Krystal Douglas of Brooklyn, New York has been stealing things from a Costco in New Springville, New York . . . by sticking them up her skirt, squeezing them between her thighs, then waddling out. And it’s truly amazing just how much stuff she’s jammed between those thighs.  In six trips since May 30th, she’s managed to steal chicken legs, steak, pork chops, shrimp, DVDs, clothing, and $5,000 worth of Polo shirts. It was the Polo shirts that tipped off Costco that some massive theft was happening.  They reviewed security footage and saw Krystal shopping, filling a cart, then having everything from the cart vanish when she left the store. Last Monday they were ready for her.  As she waddled out, they stopped her . . . and a female employee found men’s and women’s underwear plus some SHRIMP between her thighs.  She was arrested, along with a male accomplice.

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