THURSDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & TODAY’S PORNO BIRTHDAY

In today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about Kate Upton getting the BOUNCE from a theme park.  Plus, MUSE has a new song out…that apparently is the theme from the 2012 Olympics.  Plus, all your celebrity dirt and some CELEB BDAYS and today’s PORNO BIRTHDAY!

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KATE UPTON recently did a sexy photo shoot for “GQ” at the Santa Monica Pier.  During her downtime, she decided to go on a ride . . . and ended up getting kicked OFF the pier due to a wardrobe malfunction. She was on a ride that was spinning and turning…..throwing her around when her TOP FALLS OFF! She was wearing a one piece swimsuit at the time. She says, quote, “I’m holding myself, laughing, turning bright red, but a lot of people are watching, so they kicked us out of the Santa Monica pier.  It was so embarrassing.  You wouldn’t think that would happen with a one-piece!” WAR NOTE: Ring the bell on the a-holes who kicked her out.

MUSE has released a new song called “Survival”.  It’s the first single off their next album, “The 2nd Law” . . . AND it’s the official theme song for the Olympics in London this summer.  It’s also available on iTunes. The band says, quote, “[We] wrote the song with the Olympics in mind.  It’s about total conviction and pure determination to win . . . we are honored that our song [was chosen] to officially represent the London 2012 Olympic Games across the globe.” Get used to hearing this song A LOT.  It will be played heavily throughout the Olympics . . . including when athletes enter the stadium, during the lead-ups to the medal ceremonies, and it’s the primary theme for all the TV coverage.

Lindsay Lohan has reached a settlement with the three men she took on a car chase back in 2007. The men sued the actress, claiming that she essentially took them hostage as she “began a dangerous, substance-fueled drive down the Pacific Coast Highway.” Lohan was eventually booked for DUI and cocaine possession. Terms of the settlement were not revealed and the case will be officially dismissed.

Ann Curry is OUT at the Today’s Show.  She literally just made the announcement and is exiting the show.  It’s pretty much going down immediately.  The tall broad Savannah Guthrie will be taking her place.  But, it looks like Ann will be still doing stuff with the Today show…she will be doing some “world reports.”  Apparently….she was hoping for the entire 20 million dollars…and guess what didn’t happen.  They gave her $10 million and gave her the new position.

And a few little things: 1) “Us Weekly” says that ANNA PAQUIN and STEPHEN MOYER are expecting TWINS.  There’s no word on the sex, but we’re assuming it was good enough! Goooo! 2) ANDY DICK is back in rehab. 3) ALEX TREBEK is home from the hospital. And 4) B.J. NOVAK will not be a regular cast member on “The Office” next season.  He plays Ryan.

The woman who claims to have pictures of TERRELL OWENS pleasuring himself shared a few samples with the website Deadspin.com. They’re NOT explicit, though.  They show T.O. from the waist up….

ON TV:
FX: The debut of Charlie Sheen’s new show ANGER MANAGEMENT! Plus, the season premieres of LOUIE and Russell Brand’s new show called “BRAND X with RUSSEL BRAND”…..where Russell shares his thoughts on current events, politics and pop culture.
MTV: SNOOKI & JWOWW
NBC: THE U.S. OLYMPIC TRIALS…more swimming, who’s psyched?
FOX: TAKE ME OUT and on THE CHOICE: Carmen Electra, and Sophie Monk are looking for love.
ABC: WIPEOUT

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Kathy Bates – 64
–Rob Dyrdek – 38  (Skateboarder and star of both “Rob and Big” and “Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV.)
–John Cusack – 46
–Lacey Schwimmer – 24  (“Dancing with the Stars”)
–Mel Brooks – 86
–Mary Stuart Masterson – 46
–John Elway – 52  (Denver Broncos legend)
–Kellie Pickler – 26  (“American Idol”)
PhotobucketTiffani Hopkins – 31 – Today’s birthday girl has had more wongs inside her than a Chinese phone book……in 108 fine films including:
“Butt Quest Volume 4”
“Whore De France Volume 1”
“Throat Gaggers Volume 8”
“Toxic Anal Volume 1”
“The Porn Identity”
“Bush Hunter Volume 1”
“Almost Jailbait Volume 3”
“O Ring Blowout”
“Nacho Rides Again”

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