TUESDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & TODAY’S PORNO BDAY

Today’s CRAP ON CELEBS has us chatting about Tom and Katie settling their divorce…and it was hella quick! Plus the drummer for Ted Nugent sure knows how to party.  AND OF COURSE, we have today’s CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS and world famous PORNO BIRTHDAY!

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TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES have settled their divorce and custody issues. Just before the settlement was announced, Tom and Katie released a joint statement saying, quote, “We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents.” Obviously, no official details were released.  But “sources” say that Suri is going to live with Katie in New York, while Tom receives, quote, “generous visitation rights.” RadarOnline.com claims that one of the terms of the settlement is that a nanny and bodyguards Katie recently hired must be with Suri whenever she’s with Tom. Their so-called “source” claims, quote, “Suri isn’t permitted to be exposed to anything Scientology related and this includes going to any Scientology churches, parties, etc. But that’s probably not exactly true. TMZ says the agreement is NOT biased against Scientology.  There are restrictions governing what both Tom AND Katie can discuss with Suri when it comes to religion. And those restrictions ease up as she gets older.

Remember CHUMBAWAMBA?  They’re the band that did the 1997 instant classic “Tubthumping”!  You know, “I get knocked down, but I get up again . . .” Well, they just announced that, after 30 YEARS, they’re calling it quits.  They say they’ll play “a few final” shows, and that’s that.  You can read their full goodbye letter HERE. Is anyone else CRUSHED by this? No? Just us? We didn’t know they were still together, or that they’ve been going strong for 30 years.

TED NUGENT’S drummer “WILD” MICK BROWN was arrested after a show in Maine on Sunday night . . . for stealing a golf cart, going on a joyride to pick up some chicks, and assaulting the security guard who tried to stop him. It was a staff golf cart at the venue . . . so he wasn’t actually out on the links. Also, Mick was HAMMERED at the time, if that didn’t go without saying. When a security guard DID catch him, Mick SHOVED HIM out of the way.  Then things got serious.  A team of police officers stopped him . . . and had to “physically drag him out of the cart and place him under arrest.” Mick was booked on charges of operating under the influence, driving to endanger, theft and assault.  He was released on $4,000 bail . . . but not before posing for a fun, smiling mugshot….which you can see on today’s show blog. Mick is 55 years old.  So perhaps he SHOULD be old enough to know better, but you have to hand it to him, he sure knows how to have a good time.

It’s been 16 years since WILL SMITH teamed up with Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum and Randy Quaid in “Independence Day”. And now, finally, rumor of a sequel. The dudes who co-wrote the original say that they’re working together on a script….but that it will be a challenge to get all the pieces to come together. Obviously, there’s no word at this point who might return for the sequel.  They say that they’re quote, “beginning a long process of talking to everybody.  We’ll just have to see what happens.” The original also starred Judd Hirsch, Vivica Fox, Adam Baldwin, Harvey Fierstein, Mary McDonnell and Brent Spiner. Although those last two (McDonnell and Spiner) DIED in the first one.  Oh sorry, we didn’t say SPOILER ALERT.  The thing’s been on DVD for a frickin’ decade-and-a-half, people.  Walk it off.

It looks like the Octomom can do more than just pleasure herself on your computer screen. NADYA SULEMAN has recorded a club track called “Get on the Dance Floor”, on which she both sings AND RAPS.  It’s coming out August 1st. CHECK IT OUT HERE.  OOFAH!

This is messed up:  A Kardashian did something and didn’t tell anyone for an entire DAY! KOURTNEY KARDASHAN gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday.  Her name is Penelope Scotland Disick.  She’s the second child for Kourtney and her boyfriend SCOTT DISICK.  Their son Mason is 2 years old.

THIS COORS LIGHT AD IS EFFING AWESOME!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymWiC_oFgOg

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Sofia Vergara – 40  (Colombian supermodel, she plays Gloria on “Modern Family”)
–Adrian Grenier – 36  (Vincent Chase on “Entourage”)
–Thomas Ian Nicholas – 32  (He was Kevin in “American Pie”)
–Jessica Simpson – 32
–Ron Glass – 67  (Detective Ron Harris on “Barney Miller”)
–Jake LaMotta – 91  (Boxing legend who Robert De Niro portrayed in “Raging Bull”)


Vanessa Mae – 28 Today’s birthday girl gotten backdoored more than a congressional spending bill…..in 181 fine films including:
“Anal Devastation Volume 2”
“Backdoor Driller”
“Anal Annihilations Volume 2”
“Hungry Asses”
“Anal Hysteria”
“Ass Crackin’ Volume 5”
“Anal Attack Volume 7”
“Tail-A-Diggin’ Nights”
“Panty Snatchers”

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