THURSDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & TODAY’S PORNO BDAY

Today’s CRAP ON CELEBS has us chatting about what people in America REALLY have their minds on and some stuff about Viacom, the new VACATION movies, and some PANTERA news! YEE-EFFIN-HAW!

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So where are people’s heads at? According to a new survey…..more people are aware of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce than they are the supreme courts ruling on Obamacare! Here are the percentages . . .
#1.)  Tom / Katie divorce,  91%
#2.)  Supreme Court upholds Obamacare,  84%
#3.)  Anderson Cooper comes out of the closet,  68%
#4.)  Ann Curry leaving as co-host of “Today”,  61%.

In other results, 48% of people think KATIE HOLMES should get custody of her 6-year-old daughter Suri . . . while only 6% think she should live with TOM CRUISE. I kind of wish the other 46% said THEY DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS.  But they didn’t.  They said Tom and Katie should share custody.

It looks like ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL may have lost a gig.  ED HELMS is in talks to star in the reboot of “National Lampoon’s Vacation”. Ed would play Rusty Griswold . . . the SON of CHEVY CHASE’S character . . . who’s all grown up and embarking on a vacation adventure of his own.  Anthony Michael Hall played Rusty in the 1983 original.

Viacom is trying to put pressure on DirecTV in their ongoing contract dispute by limiting the content they make available online.  That way, people with DirecTV can’t catch up on the shows they’re missing by watching them online. And when you go to their shows’ sites, you’re greeted with a video message that blames the whole mess on DirecTV. It’s sort of like a political attack ad.

BILL MURRAY is going to travel around the country crashing people’s parties.  And YOURS could be one of them. CHECK OUT THE LIST OF WHERE HE’LL BE HERE!

Enough horny women pumped money into “Magic Mike” to justify a SEQUEL.  During a Twitter interview, someone asked CHANNING TATUM if there will be a follow-up. And he Tweeted, quote, “Yes, yes and yes!  We’re working on the concept now.  We want to flip the script and make it bigger.”

Johnny Depp Will Do the Voice of Edward Scissorhands on an Upcoming Episode of “Family Guy”. One of the show’s producers says, quote, “Johnny was able to snap right back into Edward Scissorhands once we pulled up a clip from the movie.” It’s a brief cameo that will pop up in one of “Family Guy’s” classic “cutaways.”  There’s no airdate yet, but the show’s 11th season premieres on September 30th.

SHAQUILLE O’NEAL has been tapped to host a new TruTV show called “Upload”, which sounds a lot like “Tosh.0″. Shaq will “scour the Internet in search of the funniest online videos to comment on, [and] create his own viral videos and parodies.”  There’s no premiere date yet.

Remember Luka Rocco Magnotta?  He’s that psychotic Canadian guy who did some gay porno, but got arrested last month for allegedly killing and dismembering a Chinese exchange student. Well, before anyone knew he was a murderer, animal rights groups were after him for posting videos of himself online, which showed him torturing and killing kittens. And a scheme was devised to bring him to justice, using porno legend RON JEREMY as the bait. The plan was proposed in January of 2011.  It would have involved Ron luring the guy to the U.S. by offering him a role in a big-budget porno . . . then busting him when he showed up for the job. Ron was up for it . . . pun intended . . . until they told him Magnotta could be dangerous.  Then The Hedgehog turned CHICKEN. He says, quote, “That’s a little bit out of my league, don’t you think?  It’s like an episode from some TV show. I’m willing to do things and help, do public service announcements, or whatever it takes.  But I’m not a law-enforcement agent.  How do I catch somebody?”

CAT CORA . . . the celebrity chef from shows like “Iron Chef” and “Around the World in 80 Plates” . . . got pulled over for driving under the influence last month after she rear-ended another car. She ended up blowing a .19 on the breathalyzer, which is more than twice the legal limit, and she later apologized. But yesterday, VIDEO surfaced of Cat that was taken by the driver of the other car.  And when Cat realized she was being filmed, she wasn’t happy. The video is kind of funny.  It’s one of those situations where you can tell Cat THINKS she’s acting sober . . . but she’s not. You can check it out on todays show blog…..AND see her mugshot….which as mugshots go…..is rather sexy.   But if you’re a dude, you can’t have her.  She has a girlfriend and four kids. Yup….delicious lesbian.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMMiJDjVkew

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Bill Cosby – 75
–Kristi Yamaguchi – 41  (Olympic figure skater)
–Richard Simmons – 64
–Brock Lesnar – 35  (Current WWE rassler and former UFC fighter.)
–Michelle Rodriguez – 34  (“Avatar”, “The Fast & The Furious”, “Resident Evil”, and she was also Ana-Lucia on “Lost”)
–Jay Thomas – 64
–Topher Grace – 34  (Eric Forman on “That ’70s Show”)
–Christine McVie – 69  (Fleetwood Mac)


Sea J. Raw – 26 (Today’s birthday girl has been teamed more than the Dudley Boyz….in 55 fine films including:
“My Dad’s Hot Girlfriend Volume 5”
“Wet Food Volume 3”
“Anal Acrobats Volume 6”
“Pretty Sloppy Volume 3”
“F Myself Volume 1”
“My Gigantic Toys Volume 8”
“Throated Volume 24”
“Buttsex Nymphos”

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