Today’s CRAP ON CELEBS has us chatting about Randy Travis and his ultimate year of DUI, drunken nightmare continuing and we talk Kris Jenner and her SHOPPING her OWN daughters sex tape around. Plus, today’s CRAPPY BDAYS and the WORLD FAMOUS PORNO BIRTHDAY!
This rumor has been out there before, and maybe it’s a little far-fetched, but for some reason it won’t die… The “Star” tabloid claims that Kris Jenner was instrumental in setting up the deal to sell her daughter Kim Kardashian’s sex tape back in 2007. That tape basically put Kim, and ultimately the entire Kardashian family, on the map… which is something Kris has wanted to do since SHE was young. A so-called “source” says that they saw Kris’ name on the contract with Vivid Entertainment… which sold the tape, “Kim K Superstar”. The source says, quote, “Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim’s tape. The video already existed, and Kris was there every step of the way as a middleman brought in to market it to an adult entertainment company.” Kris allegedly got between $250,000 and $500,000 for her part in making the deal happen. The source says, quote, “Everything she does in this world, every decision she makes on her daughters’ behalf, is based on greed and publicity. And has nothing to do with her family’s stability or happiness.”
22-year-old conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel will star in a reality show on TLC. It’s called “Abby and Brittany”, and it will premiere on August 28th. We’ll throw the trailer up on today’s show blog. They share one body, but have two heads. They have two hearts, four lungs, two stomachs, and a shared circulatory system. They were born with three arms, but one was removed surgically.
The year of Randy Travis’ demise has taken another dark turn. He was arrested late Tuesday night on suspicion of driving while intoxicated… AND for “retaliation and obstruction.” It happened in Randy’s hometown ofTioga,Texas, about an hour north ofDallas. Someone called the police at about 11:20 P.M. about a man lying in the street. When cops got there, they found Randy’s Trans Am had been driven off the road, through several barricades, and into a construction zone. And they also found Randy… NAKED… with a black eye… and covered in cuts and bruises. All of that was most likely from the crash, but we’re not sure. Police said Randy, quote, “had a strong odor of alcoholic beverage on his breath and several signs of intoxication.” He was arrested and put in the squad car… and THAT’S when he made threats to KILL the troopers. Huge mistake, because that’s a felony that carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison, and a possible fine of $10,000. At that point the cops hauled him off to jail, quote, “still naked.” 
Although they were kind enough to give him one of their shirts and a paper suit for him to wear for the mug shot. After spending the night locked up, he was arraigned and released on $21,500 bond yesterday morning. Prosecutors are still deciding if they’re going to proceed on the misdemeanor DWI charge. The felony “retaliation and obstruction” charge will go to a grand jury, and that could take up to six weeks. Randy’s people have yet to comment. You can check out Randy’s bruised-up booking mugshot on today’s show blog. As well as Randy leaving jail in the morning in the paper suit.
Thanks to the Olympian Lolo Jones and football guy Tim Tebow, virginity is BACK. With that in mind, Fox News has put together a list of the Oldest Celebrity Virgins. Here they are:
+Lolo Jones: 30 years old and counting
+Tim Tebow, who didn’t make the Fox list for some reason, is 24.
+Kathie Lee Gifford lost it at 22 to her first husband
+Lisa Kudrow was de-flowered at 31 by her husband. They’re still married.
+Kevin Jonas took off his purity ring when he got married at the age of 22.
+When Celine Dion was 20, she seduced a man 26 years older than her. They’ve now +been married almost 20 years.
+Tina Fey’s cherry was plucked by her husband when she was 25.
+Model Adriana Lima held on until she was 27, when she married a Serbian basketball player.
+“Glee” star Matthew Morrison didn’t start getting it on until he was 21 and trying to make it on Broadway.
+Brooke Shields didn’t get over the hump until she was 22, but it wasn’t on purpose. In fact, she even tried to give it up to George Michael once… back before he was out of the closet.
+Jessica Simpson was 22 when she married Nick Lachey and gave him her most precious gift.
Actor Bob Hoskins is retiring at the age of 69 due to Parkinson’s disease. He played private eye Eddie Valiant in the 1988 classic “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” and he was Captain Hook’s henchman Mr. Smee in “Hook”. Bob was diagnosed back in the fall. His rep says he’s, quote, “now looking forward to retirement with his family.” It looks like the last movie on his resume will be a little movie a lot of people seem to be talking about lately: “Snow White and the Huntsman”. He played a dwarf.
You didn’t ask for it, but yet another ‘80s thing will be recycled and forced down your throat at a theater near you. It’s “ALF”… the show about an alien who crash-lands on Earth and ends up living with a suburban family. The show ran from 1986 to 1990, and ALF… was a furry puppet. It sounds like the new version will be at least partially computer-animated. But at least he’ll be voiced by the same guy who’s always played him: Paul Fusco, who was also one of the show’s creators.
CNN is apologizing for publishing a story, which included Hatebreed in a list of “white power” bands that “defiantly express feelings of hate or violence.” This happened in an opinion piece after the massacre at the Sikh temple in Wisconsin earlier this week. The shooter was reportedly a white supremacist skinhead, who was a musician in two “white power” bands. The writer dropped the names of a few other “white power” bands… including Hatebreed. After Hatebreed fans complained about the mistake, CNN removed their name from the article, and issued this weak apology: “A previous version of this commentary incorrectly included the band Hatebreed in a list of white power bands. Hatebreed is a self-described ‘hardcore metal’ band. CNN regrets the error.”
Some celebrity gossip website claims that “X-Files” stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are living together… and that David and his wife Tea Leoni have been secretly divorced since 2009.
The parents of the passenger who also died in “Jackass” star Ryan Dunn’s fatal 2011 car crash are suing Dunn’s estate. They’re also suing the bar where Dunn was drinking before the crash. They’re seeking unspecified damages.
Jimmy Fallon admits that he was asked to host the Oscars… but he turned it down. He says, quote, “It’s an honor to be asked by the Academy, but it’s not my year.”
On TV Tonight:
NBC – SUMMER OLYMPICS – Track and Field, Diving, Beach Volleyball, Cycling.
FX – ANGER MANAGEMENT, WILFRED and LOUIE
ABC – WIPEOUT and ROOKIE BLUE
CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS
–Anna Kendrick – 27 (Bella’s classmate, Jessica Stanley, in the “Twilight” movies.)
–Jessica Capshaw – 36 (Dr. Arizona Robbins on “Grey’s Anatomy”. She’s Kate Capshaw’s daughter and Steven Spielberg’s step-daughter.)
–Nikki Ziering – 41 (Ian Ziering’s Playmate ex-wife. She was Officer Krystal in “American Wedding” . . . AND a Henchwoman in “Austin Powers in Goldmember”.)
–Mack 10 – 41 (Fine rapper of the newer school. He was married to T-Boz of TLC but she filed for divorce, saying he beat her, cheated on her and threatened her life.)
–Thomas Lennon – 42 (Lieutenant Jim Dangle on “Reno 911!”.)
–Eric Bana – 44 (Bruce Banner in “The Hulk”, the Israeli assassin leader in “Munich” and the villain in the “Star Trek” prequel.)
–Gillian Anderson – 44 (Special Agent Dana Scully on the “X-Files”.)
–Deion Sanders – 45
–Hoda Kotb – 48 (Kathie Lee’s zookeeper on the fourth hour of the “Today” show.)
–KURTIS BLOW – 53 (Old-school rapper.)
–Amanda Bearse – 54 (Marcy D’Arcy on “Married With Children”.)
–Melanie Griffith – 55
–Sam Elliott – 68 (Wade Garrett in “Road House”, Virgil Earp in “Tombstone”, the stranger in “The Big Lebowski” AND Cher’s biker boyfriend Gar in 1985′s “Mask”.)
Stephanie Duvalle -43 – this mattress actress has handled more nuts than a Southwest Flight Attendant in 205 fine films including:
- Anal Ski Vacation
- What’s That Stink?
- Sleeping With Seattle
- NYDP Pink
- Once Up An Anus
- Mr Sticky Pants
- Attack of the Dildos
- Goldilocks and Three Bi-Bears
- Horny Henry’s Anal Adventures
- Anal Alice
- Face Cream Frenzy
- Ass Gas & The Mystical Glop