Parents of a six-year-old boy are battling their first-grader’s one-day suspension from a Silver Spring, Md. school for pointing his finger at a classmate and saying “Pow!” The boy “had no intention to shoot anyone,” attorney Robin Ficker told the Washington Post. Ficker described the child as soft-spoken, with no propensity for violence. “He’s skinny and meek. In his words, he was playing.” The child’s action, directed at a girl occured Dec. 20 — some six days following the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., which left 20 children and six school staff members dead. Ficker claims the Maryland school officials overreacted due to alarm following the Newtown shootings. The parents are seeking to expunge the incident from their son’s school record.
On Tuesday, 22-year-old Benjamin Greene was in Spartanburg, South Carolina and went to a Spencer’s Gifts store. He decided to try to shoplift an INFLATABLE ADULT LOVE DOLL. That’s embarrassing enough. But the specific blow-up doll makes it WAY worse. The doll is called “Finally Mylie” . . . and it’s modeled after MILEY CYRUS. The doll is unauthorized, of course. They spell Miley “M-y-l-i-e,” and the box art features a woman who looks a LOT like Miley holding a guitar. The box also promises that the doll has, quote, “three achey love holes.” Benjamin was caught taking the doll out of the box and putting it in his coat. He was arrested for misdemeanor shoplifting. If he’d been willing to BUY the doll, Spencer’s was selling it for only $19.99.
A PUBLIC servant who was injured while having sex during a work trip has won compensation after a five-year legal battle. The full bench of the Federal Court has dismissed an appeal from workplace health insurer Comcare, which had argued the woman’s motel room tryst had nothing to do with her job. However, the court said it did not matter whether she spent her evenings having sex or ”playing a game of cards”, she was still, in effect, at work. The case, which has involved three legal appeals, is likely to have significant repercussions for employers, as it clarifies when they are responsible for staff. The woman, who worked for a federal government agency, was sent on a work trip to an office in regional NSW in November 2007. Her employer booked her a motel, where she arranged to meet and dine with a male friend after work. They returned to her room and had sex, during which a glass light fitting above the bed was pulled off its mount and fell onto her face. It injured her nose and mouth and she suffered from depression and anxiety afterwards, rendering her unable to work.
A Kansas man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple after answering an online ad is fighting the state’s efforts to suddenly force him to pay child support for the now 3-year-old girl, arguing that he and the women signed an agreement waiving all of his parental rights. The case hinges on the fact that no doctors were used for the artificial insemination. The state argues that because William Marotta didn’t work through a clinic or doctor, as required by state law, he can be held responsible for about $6,000 that the child’s biological mother received through public assistance – as well as future child support.
Remember when parents freaked out because of ELVIS PRESLEY’S “suggestive” lyrics and dance moves? It just happened again . . . NOW. In 2013. At Herriman High School in West Jordan, Utah . . . of course, Utah . . . a school musical has been CANCELED because it included Elvis songs that parents felt were too suggestive. The musical involved using Elvis songs to put a modern spin on the SHAKESPEARE play “Twelfth Night”. That’s the one that involves some Shakespearean-style cross dressing, with a woman disguising herself as a guy. So the parents weren’t just upset about the antiquated sexual suggestiveness of the Elvis lyrics . . . they were also upset over the Shakespeare material, which is centuries old. That’s reasonable. The kids have been rehearsing the play for months, and the school hasn’t picked a replacement musical yet.
This happened over a month ago, but the 911 audio just came out. On November 28th, Father Tom Donovan was at St. Aloysius Church in Springfield, Illinois, where he’s a pastor. And he was doing something EXTREMELY unholy in the rectory. Donovan had a BALL GAG in his mouth and some HANDCUFFS on his wrists. We don’t know all the details, but we know this wasn’t a robbery . . . which pretty much leads to only one other scenario. Anyway, Donovan ended up trapped in the handcuffs . . . and had to call 911. You can hear him in the audio with the gag still in, trying to say he’s trapped in handcuffs. It comes out more like, “I am stuh in a paa’a hankuh.” The police went to St. Aloysius and got him out of the cuffs. The church has confirmed that Donovan was granted a leave of absence and is seeking help.