THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER…EVER….TELL YOUR KIDS [AUDIO]

Everyone does something embarrassing.  But, lets go back and think of the things that you would never tell your children.  Is it your drug past?  Sexual escapades?! Or perhaps something involving your criminal past?!  We open the phones and take your calls. LISTEN TO THE CALLERS HERE!

THE SPRINKLE BANDIT & LIES THAT WE TELL TO KIDS [VIDEO/AUDIO]

Did you ever lie to you parents, and they KNEW you were lying, and YOU knew they knew, but you just kept it up?  Check out a video online of a little kid claiming over and over that he did NOT eat any of the ice cream sprinkles his mom left on the counter. Plus, how about the LIES that we tell to kids as PARENTS?! LISTEN TO THE STORIES HERE!

POWERBALL WINNER NOW IS A CHUBBY CHASER [NEAT/PHOTOS]

Last month, a 44-year-old man in Michigan won a $337 MILLION Powerball jackpot.  And he’s using his new-found fame and money to help his CHUBBY CHASING.  He’s set up dating site profiles where he’s exclusively looking for women who are, quote, “big and beautiful, curvy, full-figured, heavyset, or [carrying] a few extra pounds.”  Which makes sense, since he’s kind of a big guy himself. READ MORE HERE

DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: LAWMAKER vs. RAVENS PLAYER

Brendon Ayanbadejo, the Baltimore Ravens linebacker who has been an outspoken supporter of marriage equality in Maryland, said in a radio interview yesterday that his team backs his role as an activist for equal rights. And now, a LAWMAKER from Maryland has a huge problem with that….and it’s incredibly DOUCHEY! CHECK OUT THE AUDIO AND VIDEOS HERE

DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: HITLER STORE

Today’s DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY is a guy just opened an upscale clothing store in India that’s generating a lot of controversy . . . because he named it HITLER.  He even dotted the “i” in Hitler with a swastika.  The man says he had never heard of the real Hitler, and he only chose the name because that was his grandfather’s nickname.  And he says he’ll only change the name if he’s compensated for the cost of the sign. READ MORE HERE

DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: TODD AKIN IS AN ASS!

Today’s DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY is TODD AKIN.  Dude – what the EFF are you thinking?  He was recently on the FOX 2 with Charles Jaco and said some things that he PROBABLY regrets.  Check it out by clicking on this blog and get ready..it’ll TRULY blow you away.  What a DOUCHER! READ MORE HERE